Yes - I have to confess.
I have been a PERFECT mother.
{Before I had kids}
Back in my 20's before I was married and then before we had kids, I knew it ALL!!!! I had everything figured out about mothering and honestly - I couldn't figure out why mothers couldn't get it as quickly as I did. I mean it wasn't all that hard. I had a lot of questions I would wonder about mothers from as I looked down my VERY judgemental nose at them.
* When I was at the grocery store - I would hear babies screaming and screaming and I would think "why on earth doesn't that mother make that baby quit crying or just leave?"
{and since I have (often) been that mother with Hollis crying and we have lost our last pacifier and I only need 4 more things so I just push on. I swallow my pride and just let her scream until we can get OUT of that store}
*I would also hear kids saying "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" at the store while the mother was shopping and I would think "why does she not respond to their demands and questions?" (ha!)
{and since then I have been the one hearing my name 956,784 times and sometimes it just has to be tuned out a little to get anything done.}
* I would see mothers out and about in sweat suits and no make up and wonder why they didn't get dressed up every day to run errands with their toddlers. Didn't they want to look cute?
{and now about 4 days out of 7 - I'm running around the same way. No shower. 3rd day hair. Because when I can't get up before the girls in the morning and when I finally find an hour during nap time to take a shower and "fix up" - who wants to waste an hour doing that when I could get other things done.}
*I wondered what SAHM's did all day and why my friends who were home couldn't always respond immediately to my emails or phone calls. What else were they doing?
{ ha ha ha. I haven't returned an email in months it feels like}
*I also used to envision how clean my house would be and all the amazing meals I would cook and all the projects I would constantly have time with all my "free time" as a SAHM.
{I'm still looking for that free time when I have one 2 year old on my leg at all times}
{Oh and keeping a house clean with two little kids is like digging a hole in the sand while the tide comes in}
* I had a lot of rules that we would follow like my children wouldn't watch TV and they would only want to eat vegetables and they would NEVER sleep with us and on and on.
{No comment. :-)}
It's funny how you can be really good at something when you aren't actually doing it. Like armchair quarterbacks - I was a HEISMAN worthy armchair mother. Until I became one. And now I no longer judge mothers (well - normal, good mothers). I find myself making blanket statements of how I will mother teenagers and I've learned I better just close my lips and pray God gives me wisdom instead.
Nothing has ever humbled me or taught me as much as being a mother.
And it's a lesson I'm so grateful for.
