I'm so glad that so many moms have told me that going from 1 to 2 kids was hard for them. Even moms of 5 or 6 kids have said that 1 to 2 was the hardest. (Which I have to admit STILL sounds crazy to me. ha! 3 or 5 or 6 has to be harder than 2............but I'll take your word for it!) Because it has been a tough adjustment for me. I told Scott it's not twice as hard - it's like 4x as hard. I feel like finally after almost two months .....I'm just starting to get adjusted. I think for a few weeks I had mild post partum or I don't even know if it was that or if it was just an huge sense of just being completely overwhelmed and exhausted. I just wasn't myself for a while. I know hormones have a lot to do with that and no sleep doesn't help! I also felt tremendous guilt because I had prayed so long and hard to be blessed with these babies and I know how many others are desperate to be mothers and here I was wanting to run away and hide in a closet by myself for a few hours some of those days.
Now it's my new normal and I think we are all doing much better. We have good and bad days. Last Friday I had a tough day. Harper didn't nap and she spent three hours in the afternoon whining and crying and laying in the floor throwing fit after fit and Hollis was gassy and screaming those same three hours and I was low on patience and thought I would lose my mind. And then today we had such a great day where Harper was good and Hollis was so sweet and they both took naps at the same time for over two hours and we played outside and I just thought to myself "Okay - I've got this!" :-)
But I wouldn't trade any hard moment in the world because I'm SO thankful to have this sweet baby and I can't imagine my life without her. I can't imagine my life without Harper or Hollis. I never doubted that I would be able to LOVE two babies and I do so much! I know I probably say often that Harper was a tough baby (and maybe a tough toddler) and Hollis is just so easy. I don't say that to say one is better than the other - they are just different. I grew up with the BEST parents in the WORLD and I've been told all my life that I was a tough baby (and a tough toddler and probably not the easiest teenager! ha!) (I have NO idea where Harper gets it from)! And my brother came along and was so easy and good natured where I was hard headed and strong willed like a cute little munchkin that lives in my house. My parents told us that but we never doubted in any form or fashion that they loved us equally. That's how I feel about my girls. They are so different but I love them the same! I actually love that Harper is strong willed even though at times I think it might kill me but I know in the long run it's going to be her strong point in life! And I love that Hollis is so sweet and content and quiet. God has a plan for both of them and it will involve their distinct personalities!
So I'm adjusting. It takes a lot more organization. Especially to get all 3 of us dressed and out the door to go somewhere. On Time. But I've survived taking them both to Wal-Mart now twice so I kind of feel like I can take on the world! ha!
