Kelly's Korner: I have about 7 minutes to make a post.........

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I have about 7 minutes to make a post.........

This is for all my OBU friends ----- Harper wanted to show you her shirt!!!

By the looks of her in this picture - I think she is trying to tell me she'd rather pledge E. :-)

This is us during some happy famly time! There hasn't been just a ton of that in the last two days. We are so thankful to have a sweet baby and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thankful she is healthy but she has pretty much only slept about 6 out of the last 36 hours. I'm either nursing the other 30 hours or she is screamimg!!! I know this is the 3 week growth spurt (or so we hope!) We are really just glad she is eating so much and her lungs work so well. Have any of you had a baby that would not sleep and only wants to be fed and/or held? I'm writing this with one hand while she's calm for once. Any advice for this new mom? (P.S. I've tried the bouncy seat, car seat, swing, sling, miracle blanket and pack and play - she hates them all. She's high maitenance - where does she get it from??? Must be her dad. ha!)

This is the best part of our day - when daddy comes at lunch or night. He helps me so much. If I can work in a shower somehow today and can pump a bottle or two......I am getting out tonight for 30 minutes.........maybe to buy stamps and go to sonic!!!!!

On another note, we have been so blessed lately and I have been so burdened for others........sick children, tornado victims, almost 1000 people in my small town yesterday who were laid off. We are living in such scary times and my anxiety has increased so much knowing I am responsible for another life now. It's hard to turn on the tv these days and to not get depressed, But God has told us not to worry over and over in the Bible. He is in control. He is Jehovah Jirah - my provider. My hope is in that.

P.S. If I haven't returned your phone call or e-mail or written your thank you note yet........hopefully you understand why now. I haven't combed my hair in about 3 days. My friend Kacy (one of the most thoughtful people I've ever met) called today and said "I'm about to ring your doorbell and run - answer when I leave" and she left me an orange roll from our favorite tea room. She speaks my love language. :-) I want to learn to be that kind of friend, don't you?

Also - be in prayer for this family. This little girl was a twin and was born at 30 weeks. She has had two heart surgeries and one bowel surgery. Please pray that she lives and will be healed - her name is Veiyah. Her twin was lost.

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526 comments:

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lottfam said...: As a mother of three, I say take a shower when she sleeps and then get some sleep yourself -- the laundry, cleaning, dishes, etc can wait. Baby monitors are a great thing when you just need to get a shower. And guess what? It's still a luxury to fit in a shower when you have three kids! My only suggestion for her wanting to be held is a baby carrier -- the ones you strap on. You can turn her in towards you to sleep. She'll feel close to you like she's being held and you can get something done. It's amazing what you can do while carrying a baby -- laundry, cooking, thank-yous. Once she gets older, if she still wants to be close, you can face her out so she can see what is going on. I think they are less than $20 at Walmart and baby supply stores. And do get out even if just in the front yard for a few minutes -- the crying can get to you!; 2/12/2009 12:25 AM
Anonymous said...: Through your bleary eyes, try to read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. Tight swaddling may do the trick, though Harper will probably fight it and cry at first. It was the only thing that helped my Sam sleep. You can get swaddle wraps at Babies R Us. But you have to give it a few minutes to work and be saying "shhhhh" in her ear as loud as you can. Hope that helps!
From: Ki- mom of 3; 2/12/2009 12:26 AM
Wayne and Ketha said...: Harper is precious... glad to hear that she is doing so well and that her lungs work...LOL LOL

My advice to you is whenever she sleeps, even if it's for 20-30 minutes...you lay down as well. Forget the house...forget dusting...forget using the vaccum.. you need your rest too. In time she will work herself into a schedule and you'll be able to do more while she's sleeping and your rested. If she were older, I would suggest a little rice cereal mixed with her formula or your milk... But I certainly would not give her anything without the doctor's approval since she's been through so much. The rice cereal puts something in their tummy and they "relax" and sleep more.

Just remember two things... she'll only be this little for a little while...enjoy her as I know you are... AND ....this too shall pass.

Blessings,
Ketha; 2/12/2009 12:36 AM
Sandy M. said...: One other thing Kelly, I don't know how you guys feel about this but a pacifier can help soothe them between feedings too. I wasn't going to use one but my first son sucked so much that we gave in. Not one of mine went to Kindergarten with one either, which I feared might happen for a while there!
Sandy
Plano, TX; 2/12/2009 12:46 AM
Anonymous said...: "The Happiest Baby on the Block" saved the say for my daughter. She bought it from Amazon.com when she couldn't understand why her son wouldn't stop crying. The book told her to swaddle him, and it worked! He's now the happiest toddler on the block!; 2/12/2009 1:14 AM
Anonymous said...: I am right there with you,mine is just over 2 weeks old and doing the same thing.Just repeat after me,this too shall pass!; 2/12/2009 1:31 AM
SF said...: hi Kelly,
Oh I can SO relate. All 3 of mine have been high-maintainance; wanting to be held and fed is there way of expressing themselves and getting the nourishment and nurture they need. Hang in there! Try a good sling- they work wonderfully. Gives you your hands back!!
She is so precious. Just try to enjoy every moment, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Keep feeding that beautiful girl up- she probably is catching up on lots of cuddles and mommy time. :)
You're doing a great job!; 2/12/2009 5:16 AM
Anonymous said...: Hi Kelly,
I've been reading since I found your blog right when Harper was in the hospital. Praise God for His healing!
I wanted to tell you that my baby was just like that- she is now 8 months old. It was SO hard because I thought newborns slept a lot, so my expectations were WAY OFF. She cried TONS and never ever wanted to be put down. I would watch my friends babies and wonder why mine wasn't calmly snoozing all the time!! And I wasn't able to just leave her in her crib and let her scream for awhile (though lots of people say that is helpful) because it made me worried that she was hurting. It was frustrating, to say the least- and no, I never got to shower or wash my hair- barely got to eat.

Have you tried short walking trips in the stroller? That helped my baby- going outside usually helped tons, but that's not practical all hours of the night of course.

The other advice is to ask for MORE HELP FROM FRIENDS!!! even if a friend can come over for one hour- people don't mind helping and love to be asked. I didn't ask for help enough and I wish I had!!!
It WILL pass and it WILL get better. They are such a blessing and joy even though the first couple of months are sooo trying- I'm praying you will get through it and that you & Harper will get some good rest.; 2/12/2009 5:47 AM
Anonymous said...: one more thing- forgot to mention that my life changed once I let my baby sleep/ nap on her tummy. I don't know how you feel about that and I know Harper might have health considerations, but if it's possible, I would advise you to consider it! My mom advised me to do it- she said we all slept on our stomachs in those days- and once I put my little one down on her tummy, she slept wayyyyy more. I was always watching her, so I wasn't too worried about it.; 2/12/2009 5:52 AM
Amy said...: All I can say for the crying...is keep her close. If you have things that need to be done- put her in a Moby wrap or a sling. You can make a Moby wrap SUPER easy with 5.5 yards of fabric from Wal-mart (or other fabric store) for cheap. They are a lifesaveer.; 2/12/2009 6:05 AM
Anonymous said...: A good friend gave me this advice.

"If you get a shower, it's been a very good day."

Set your expectations accordingly. I had a NICU baby who was also a slow nurser. I felt like my butt was melting into the couch -- all I did was nurse all day. At the 3 week mark, I scared my husband when I said that I finally understood why there were so many shaken babies in the news. (I would of course never do it, but for the first time I could see how someone with no support or help or self control might be driven to it.) I made sure I had lots of good movies on hand and kept the remotes close. Does it help to know this is completely normal? I hope so -- but it is very hard, and don't feel bad for admitting it.

You will do great, and it doesn't last forever, I promise. In a few weeks, things will be much easier and brighter.; 2/12/2009 6:11 AM
Laura said...: Hi Kelly!
I love all the beautiful pictures of sweet Harper...she is a princess! Maybe you could ask her dr. about reflux....sometimes that is the cause of constant crying and/or fussiness. There is some medication she could take if that is the case. Take good care of yourself, too. Having a new baby at home is so wonderful, but stressful too.....especially after all you have been through! Hang in there!!!; 2/12/2009 6:23 AM
Anonymous said...: Harper looks adorable! Glad you are home and are (trying) to transition to a normal routine.

My firstborn (a girl) was the same way. The first 6 weeks we did not sleep and neither did she. My husband started taking her for a drive in the evenings. I would breastfeed her, then they would go for a 1-2 hour drive. I would sleep during that time!! She typically would fall asleep in her carseat and he would bring her in the house and leave her in the car seat.

Hang in there - it does get easier once your milk is established and you have more of a routine.

Diana in GA; 2/12/2009 6:44 AM
Ms. Sarah Sullivan said...: harper is such a doll. so glad she's healed. ok, i have 2 girls (2 and 4) and both ate constantly the first 4 months. i nursed them both for a year...thought about stopping a lot:) just hang in there. you'll get exhausted and frustrated feeling like a milk factory, but it'll get better and she'll start nursing less. also, my lilly was VERY colicky and cried all the time. by suggestion of another mom we got an "old school" water bottle and filled it with luke-warm water and would lay it on her tummy in her bouncy seat...this was miraculous! the warmth and pressure soothed her aching tummy. it was what got us through the first few months!; 2/12/2009 7:00 AM
Anonymous said...: Try wrapping her in a tight swaddle, put her in a swing, and turn on a sound machine. This is the only way my child would sleep for about the first six months...it worked wonders; 2/12/2009 7:14 AM
lizziefitz said...: Kelly, I am happy that you got a minute to post. I am sorry that things aren't going so smoothly. I have four children and one one the way. I remember not getting a shower until hibby came home, good times. I am thankful that you have ring and run friends to get you through the chaos. I will now pray that Harper finds contentment and sleep. Hugs, Elizabeth; 2/12/2009 7:31 AM
Anonymous said...: Try a soothie pacifier! It helps sometimes. She is pretty young but we used to dab just a tiny bit of gas medicine on it and my son would always take it then.

She is probably just adjusting to life outside the hospital. If it isn't too cold I'd take her on a walk. Babies love looking around outside.; 2/12/2009 7:31 AM
Anonymous said...: Kelly,
You've had so many great comments, but I'll throw in my two cents worth because my second child was a screamer. First of all, after two weeks of fitful sleep, I finally gave in and let her sleep on her tummy - she did much better! My first baby did fine on her back, but not my little one. She also liked to be outside. I can't tell you how many times I swaddled her up and we'd walk around the cul-de-sac - no stroller. She rarely screamed outside. Praying you'll get some sleep soon!; 2/12/2009 7:31 AM
Anonymous said...: My 3 1/2 year old grandson was a little screamer. Try turning on the vacuum cleaner close to Harper and see if the continuous noise helps. Jacob would immediately cease his screams and zone out. Worth wearing out a cheap vacuum!!Eventually this will be a distant memory! She's beautiful.; 2/12/2009 7:37 AM
Haley said...: Try baby-wearing. It will probably help her to be snuggled up to her mommy. It will at least give you two hands to use! I remember those days/weeks. It really does get better. You really will be able to sleep again. She's probably just all out of whack from the hospital. Good luck!
(I'll be in your shoes soon. My second baby is due in mid-June and I have a 2 year old!); 2/12/2009 7:37 AM
Anonymous said...: Kelly,
Do you notice the moms that said they fed around the clock are telling you they had to give their babies gas drops and had colic. I wonder if their is a connection there? My biggest tip is to make sure you are giving her a full feeding, atleast 10 minutes on each side-with a burp in between sides:) Babywise does work.; 2/12/2009 7:43 AM
Anonymous said...: I had a high maintenance baby too. The book 'The Baby Whisperer Solves All of your Problems' really did solve all of our problems. We got that book and tried her schedule and it worked. She fell right into the schedule and it took the guessing game out of why she was crying. Harper is beautiful! Good luck!; 2/12/2009 7:44 AM
Anonymous said...: Ooooh I remember those days :) My son is almost one and I still feel the pain from those endless sleepless nights. First off Id say stop watching the news. Babies pick up on anxiety!!! Second Id say those growth spurts are hard on us as moms but imagine what they go thru! Babies grow so much in the beginning Im sure they get growing pains and are just fusterated learning how to self soothe. Oh and try to hold out so your only feeding every 2 hours. They actaully get more and are more satisfied if they have a short time between feedings. Remember those first three months are like a 4th trimester. They still think they are a part of you and that is scary letting go, babies dont develop habits until around 3 months. So if she wants to be held just sit in your pjs and cuddle, dont try to put pressure on yourself to get her to sleep x amount in a crib. When she falls asleep so do you :) Enjoy those baby days, they fly by!!; 2/12/2009 7:48 AM
Avery & Hailey said...: Someone probably already said this, but I don't have time to read through 424 comments (I have a 3 month old, HA!). Swaddling helped a lot with my first one. She was a preemie and slept until her due date and then we like to say she woke up and was grouchy until she could sit up and see the world. We would swaddle her up and either sway with her or rock her to calm her down. It sucks sometimes...don't feel guilty about being overwhelmed or feeling helpless.

You guys look fantastic by the way!!

www.averygray.blogspot.com; 2/12/2009 7:56 AM
Anonymous said...: Eeek, please do not use Babywise. It has been linked to many deaths and failure to thrive.

Just mother her. Listen to your instincts. You are the expert of your baby. You've both been through a lot, so its more than normal that she wants to be comforted by mama 24/7 for now. This too shall pass:); 2/12/2009 8:02 AM
Rebekah said...: I am so glad Harper can eat and yell and scream, too! But, I also know you are are exhausted! I be praying for rest for you. I am already praying that over us, too! Scott, keep being an awesome daddy and hubby! Ya'll are one precious family!; 2/12/2009 8:07 AM
Whitney said...: Kelly, you dont know me, but I feel like I know you...ive been reading about Harper and praying for her...and she is such a miracle.

I was a tri chi at OBU (PC 02) and loved my time there. I love Harper's outfit and I think she will be a GREAT Tri Chi and addition to the club! Keep your head up, you are surrounded with love, friends, and most importantly, prayer.

-Whitney; 2/12/2009 8:11 AM
Southern Savvy said...: Hi Momma! I know what you're going through! I have a 6 month old high maitenence diva myself! She was the same way at Harper's age. It gets better with time is all that I can tell you. My little diva finally started sleeping about 6 hours straight around 3 months old. Her problem was that she wanted to eat all of the time! There were days when I'd use every single bottle I had before she'd give me a chance to wash any of them! LOL She's also a big girl for her age so I'm sure Harper is similar. Anyway, I didn't really get any sleep until my baby started eating the stage 1 baby food at 4 months. Then she was finally satisfied and would sleep through the night 8pm - 6am. There is hope! Just drink mass quantities of coffee until then! Praying for ya and the other families on your blog!; 2/12/2009 8:14 AM
Caroline said...: Quick tip:
I used an exercise ball and sat and bounced my babies. They loved it just as much as when you stand and bounce them, but so much easier on you.
Our ball was one that was meant for sitting and bouncing a baby, we got ours at Target it is call baby bouncy.

Good Luck, and don't worry it gets easier.; 2/12/2009 8:15 AM
Lazy Mom Leslie said...: I agree with all the Babywise women. It helps get you and baby into a routine. It's not scheduling your baby as some believe (we all know you can't keep a baby on a schedule if they are screaming) it's all about routine.; 2/12/2009 8:19 AM
Anonymous said...: Hi - she's a gorgeous baby! My first born girl was the same! Cried if I didn't feed her and carry her - I felt totally shell shocked by the whole experience. She cried all the time and the only time she wasn't crying was when she was breastfeeding! Think the really clingy stage finished about 6 weeks, but she continued to nurse furiously until she was 6 months old and able to somewhat entertain herself. Today she is an independent 6 year old! Advice - not a lot I'm afraid - nothing I did seemed to work!; 2/12/2009 8:26 AM
Anonymous said...: This too shall pass! My baby boy was a non-stop nurser/screamer also. I felt like a big old cow nursing non-stop, but that's apparently what he needed. He was on a 2-hr schedule for at least a month. He ended up with spaghetti in his hair more than once, since I usually was eating meals with him attached! Enjoy what you have - it will get better!; 2/12/2009 8:38 AM
Anonymous said...: Praying for you! Harper is been through a lot.. Newborns sometimes are unfortunately fussy. Hang in there!; 2/12/2009 8:43 AM
We've Got Scents said...: Praying for more rest for all of you and that little Harper will settle in and sleep more! The pictures are priceless!
The orange roll sounded yummy. What a sweet friend to bring you a treat during the day.
Blessings today and always,
Kaye
Matthew 21:22; 2/12/2009 8:45 AM
Anonymous said...: Hi Kelly, I just started reading your blog and I just love it!

I am also a new mommy (Bennett was born on 12/11/08) and Harper was born on my birthday 1/16!

Anyway, my sweet boy was the same way with the screaming/being held thing. It turned out that he wasn't getting enough to eat from me. I wasn't producing enough milk. We started supplementing with formula and he is a totally different baby! I felt terrible because he was starving for the first 4 weeks! Poor baby.

Also, I read in a book that if they aren't sleeping in their beds to try them in their carseats. I know you have tried it...but it works for us! He is sleeping about 5-6 hours at a time in his carseat. I'm not worried about it because I am pretty sure he won't go to college sleeping in it.

Anyway, I hope this helps!

Lindsey in Louisiana; 2/12/2009 8:45 AM
Anonymous said...: Kelly I have been following your blog forever! Harper is just precious! My son was the exact same way. We spent the first 3 weeks of his life sleeping on the couch because I was afraid my husband would roll over on him and the only way we could sleep was with me holding him! He too was a bigger baby and I finally realized that he slept great on his tummy. I know it is not "recommended", but it worked like magic. I think bigger babies want to cuddle and being on their tummy helps. I was so scared to do this so we bought an Angel Care Monitor. If he were to quit moving for more than 20 seconds it would go off. Definitely makes you feel a little better! Good luck and enjoy every minute!; 2/12/2009 8:46 AM
Leslee P said...: The book Baby Wise is a great eye opener for new parents. It literally saved my sanity... You should check it out... Not that you really have any time to read, but maybe while you are nursing... LOL!

So happy that Harper is doing well!; 2/12/2009 8:48 AM
Michelle Whitlow said...: You certainly have a beautiful baby!!

I don't know if my advice will help at all or pertain to you, but I also had a larger baby. And she never seemed satisfied when I tried to nurse her. When I switched over to formula she finally seemed "full". Don't know if that's Harper's problem or not. I've always joked that my breast milk is probably "skim" and my kids want whole milk! My son was on the thinner side til I stopped nursing at 5 months and you could see the difference within a month...he plumped right out!

Also, I can *totally* related to feeling depressed having a baby in these times. I was 6 months pregnant during 9-11. That day, and for days after, I just sat on the couch holding my belling thinking "What am I doing? What kind of world am I bringing this baby into?" But you're right, we have to have faith in God, to trust in Him. It's hard, but when you do it's amazing how your outlook changes!!!

Love reading your blog and the inspiration! It's helped me SO much in the past month, more than you will EVER know!!; 2/12/2009 8:51 AM
Anonymous said...: My daughter did the same thing yours is doing. It turned out she was allergic to my breastmilk. You might try cutting out all dairy products for awhile and see if that doesn't help.; 2/12/2009 8:52 AM
kimm said...: What a beauty you have on your hands! As a momma of 4 little ones I have to second, third... fifty fifth getting a sling or a wrap and ditching all those other baby contraptions ;o) Hotslings or Moby Wraps are a great start! You can keep her close to you and be hands free at the same time. My newest (9 months) would pass out within minutes of cozing up in his sling and he weighed the same as Harper. The more squished they are the better, reminds them of home :o); 2/12/2009 8:54 AM
kimm said...: I forgot to mention that the constant nursing WILL pass. I have breastfed for about 3.5 of the last 7 years and have learned a ton along the way. Do everything in your power to avoid the temptation of supplementing because from there on out it will be a downhill battle. The reason that she is hungry all the time is because breast milk is more easily and more rapidly digested and I'm sure you know that the more you nurse the more your supply will increase to keep up with her demand. She WILL become more efficient with time!www.kellymom.com is a FANTASTIC resource for breastfeeding moms. Just remember that this is a small little snippet in the grand scheme of things and once you get past these first few weeks at home you'll feel a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders.

God Bless!; 2/12/2009 9:07 AM
Anonymous said...: I haven't read all of the comments, but this has been on my mind. First, I think that you're smart for getting out, even if it is just for 30 minutes. I should have done that more. It clears your head and gives you a break. Second, all things are passing. I know that you are tired and it is hard, but soon, she won't want to be held anymore because she'll be so busy discovering the world around her. So, just see to her needs and take breaks, when you can. And you'll look back, even at the difficult times with sweet memories.; 2/12/2009 9:08 AM
Anonymous said...: Try a Womb Bear or a Sleep Sheep. My little girl was the same way and then we bought her a Womb Bear. And sleep's great now you can Get the Womb Bear at Target.com or you can get the Sleep Sheep at Dillards. They are about the same price. Both the Bear and Sheep make noise such as rain,heatbeat's and waterfall sounds. My little girl will sleep for hours on end. And if she wakes up we turn it back on. And she goes right back to sleep. It also helps her calm down if she is really upset.; 2/12/2009 9:10 AM
mrs shortcake said...: Have you tried reading "the happiest baby on the block"? I'm not a mother myself yet, but I was reading it the other day, and it sounded like a shot (swaddling + shushing + other "s" s); 2/12/2009 9:13 AM
Mer said...: How will you ever read all these comments??? I am Katie Rowe's sisnlaw, and have been praying for baby Harper since birth. What a miracle she is? I'm so thankful that you have taken the "survival" role away from Harper! That's all I can say..you have lots of great advice, but my advice is just to "survive it!" You will too...pray for endurance in the quiet moments, and just keep moving those feet. God will carry you when you can't walk any further..you've seen that already! Hang in there.; 2/12/2009 9:20 AM
Anonymous said...: The answer is yes yes and yes! What worked for me was
1. Breastfeeding on demand. Whenever, wherever, for however long she wanted. I literally set up a station with phone, drink, food, remote, book and supplies and just let her go at it, sometimes for hours on end. It's draining but heh, it gave me some stinkin peace and quiet while she nursed. Cozy up with your baby and your DVR!! And she IS getting enough milk from you. Even if she just nursed 5 min. ago. It's normal to cluster feed at this point.
2. Cosleeping. After several days and nights of no sleep we discovered she needed to have that closeness with us in order to relax. And crib transition at 3 months was seamless. Don't worry yet about forming habits. Just do what you need to do to all get sleep.
3. Swing--oh my word this saved us. You may have to make several attempts at it, but our daughter would sleep for hours in hers.
Some babies just have a more high needs personalities. The next few weeks and months will try your patience and make you feel like you are a human paci but you'll get through it. And eventually bf'ing will take like 5 minutes! Shocking I know but you'll see. Mine is 15 mos. now and I swear I miss those days in the beginning. And you will even forget and want another one ha ha :0) Praying for you as a fellow sister in motherhood. We are all in this together ;-); 2/12/2009 9:20 AM
Anonymous said...: Kelly, hello! We are sent out from your dad's church in Flippin. We live in England. We have prayed so much for baby Harper. I usually don't comment on your blog but we do read it. Just wanted to share that swaddling was so helpful with my first born when he was upset. Also that video "Happiest Baby on the block" was really good. I am sure from all your comments you will have enough things to try out. HA!! Blessings, Laura; 2/12/2009 9:22 AM
Brianna said...: Hi Kelly! I just started following your blog a few weeks ago and I firmly believe the lord led me to it. I am a first time mom myself, with a seven month old. For the first 6 weeks of my little boy's life, he didn't leave my arms unless I had to change him. He wanted to nurse constantly, also. I even slept while holding him. When you hit the six week mark, things will begin to change. You and your family will be in somewhat of a routine and things will start to click.
Let me just tell you, as far as the crying...WHITE NOISE!! My pediatrician clued me into this. You can start with the less annoying ones, like the heartbeat or waves, etc. Those may stop working after a while or never work at all. Graduate to running water (the shower, etc), dryer running, blow dryer, vacuum cleaner, tv static, etc. Some nights we slept with the vacuum cleaner on! I swore my vaccum would blow up before my child grew out of this phase! We ended up using the sound reciever of our baby monitor- you know, since we weren't using it. I mean, he was sleeping in my arms-why did I need a monitor! :) If we turned on the sound reciever without the base plugged in, it made the TV static sound. We carried that thing in the diaper bag with us EVERYWHERE WE WENT!! We called it his lovie.
Your baby Harper is precious as can be and truly, truly a testament to how great our god is and he has a plan for our lives. Motherhood is wonderful! Each and every day gets better and better! Just wait!; 2/12/2009 9:22 AM
DJones said...: Congratulations again! I don't know what to offer about nursing. That, unfortunately, did not work out for us. But I also had a "petite" 10.8 lbs little girl that fussed lots unless being held. Swaddling her tightly and practically living in her carseat helped us. At 2 mos she was diagnosed with reflux. So keeping her in an upright position helped. Or maybe she is just going thru a little growing pains? :) but not to worry, nothing wrong with holding her and loving on her.; 2/12/2009 9:26 AM
Amy said...: Kelly, I came to your blog through Angie's. My little girl had colic and I see you've already tried half the things I would have suggested. You might also try looking at what you eat in relation to her crying. Sometimes dairy, spicy foods, or "gassy" foods (like broccoli) can make the baby fussy via your breastmilk. The all natural gas drops available at any drug store or grocery store may also help some. Good luck! And I'm so glad your home safe and sound and happy.; 2/12/2009 9:27 AM
Anonymous said...: There are so many comments - I'll try to be brief. I have a lot of experience with NICU babies who won't sleep. My twins were 31 weeks and after weeks in the round the clock NICU, it's hard for babies to adjust to the need for quiet, sleepy times.

Best advice I ever got was to teach them the difference between night and day. When the sun is rising, or as early as possible, you take her outside or expose her to a sunny window and talk and coo and generally do the "Wake time" stuff. After a few days, that ritual supposedly sets their internal clocks and they figure it out and start to develop healthier sleep patterns. It worked for me. Good luck!; 2/12/2009 9:29 AM
Anna said...: Harper looks so beautiful!!

I had 2 very good sleepers...so I fell very bad for you. I only have a few little bits of advice that maybe you could try??? When she was in the NICU her surroundings might have been a little noisier. Maybe if she had some background noise it would help? Also...I know alot of babies end up having a milk allergy...have you tried changing your diet at all??
I'm sure you will figure it all out soon!
Take Care!!; 2/12/2009 9:39 AM
Anonymous said...: Buy the book "Baby Wise" it is hard to do but it has been our life line. It says in there that sometimes you just have to let them lay down and cry. The first time we did this, Jeff had to hold me while I cried, but it worked!!!

Harper is so precious. She was born larger than our little Luke currently is at 6 weeks. You dad said he seems so small but I suppose he is used to Harper. Well my angel is crying so I must go!!!

I have been very blessed in reading your blog. God bless and take care!!

Gwen; 2/12/2009 9:40 AM
Anonymous said...: Have any of you had a baby that would not sleep and only wants to be fed and/or held? I'm writing this with one hand while she's calm for once. Any advice for this new mom?

SWADDLE HER AS TIGHT AS YOU CAN...EACH PICTURE SHOWS HER WITH HER HANDS FREE. SHE MAY BE COLD AND/OR SHE JUST NEEDS TO BE SWADDLED TIGHTLY.

I really enjoy your blog. Harper is the third prettiest babies I've ever seen...my two being the prettiest, of course! LOL; 2/12/2009 9:40 AM
Molly and Maggie's Mom said...: Hey! I highly recommend a box fan for noise in her room, and also the following books: Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby, and Babywise...both of my girls slept through the night at 7 weeks...it is not too early to start a routine, it will save your sanity!; 2/12/2009 9:44 AM
Amber said...: Have you tried a baby carrier? My baby was needy in the sense that he wanted to be held a lot...especially to sleep. He liked the baby carrier...would even sleep in it and I could still get some things done. She's just making up for the days in the NICU when you couldn't hold her! :) Can my son be Harper's boyfriend? J/k; 2/12/2009 9:47 AM
Katherine @ Grass Stains said...: Kelly, You might try some good, loud white noise. She was in the womb for 9 months (which is VERY LOUD) and then the NICU, which is also full of commotion and stimulation. Going to a quiet home, everything is probbaly way too quiet. What we've used with all three of our babies is a simple fan. We are on our 4th one! It's actually one of those small space heaters, but you do NOT use any of the heat settings. You only use the fan setting, which blows room-temp air and is wonderful white noise. It must mimic the womb pretty closely, because we had no luck with white-noise CDs or anything else like that. The fan has worked for all of our boys. Good luck!; 2/12/2009 9:54 AM
Anonymous said...: My daughter did the same thing and it ended up being really bad acid reflux. Would scream if not eating and would NEVER sleep and the minute we got her meds it was like night and day.; 2/12/2009 10:05 AM
Kori Hudson said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 2/12/2009 10:05 AM
Kori Hudson said...: Hang in there Kelly! My daughter Norah (who was in the NICU for 2 weeks after she was born, but PTL is happy and healthy now at 4 months old) went through little spurts like this several times... Seems like it was at its worst around 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 3 months, but until just very recently, she was pretty much unhappy unless she was being nursed or walked around all the time.

I just hunkered down with some good books and movies, had my hubby pick up plenty of snacks and enjoyed all the cuddle time with my tiny baby! I know it's hard, but she'll only be this little for such a short time. Also, she didn't get as much contact as she probably wanted during her NICU time, and now she's finally able to get the closeness she needs with you, so she may be playing catchup!

Just hold her, cuddle her, love her and give her what she needs, and before you know it, things will get better! And then you'll blink, and she'll be running around your house at 90 miles per hour when she's 2 or 3, and you'll sooooo miss this cuddle time. Hang in there! You're a great mommy! : )

*Kori; 2/12/2009 10:06 AM
Kori Hudson said...: Hang in there Kelly! My daughter Norah (who was in the NICU for 2 weeks after she was born, but PTL is happy and healthy now at 4 months old) went through little spurts like this several times... Seems like it was at its worst around 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 3 months, but until just very recently, she was pretty much unhappy unless she was being nursed or walked around all the time.

I just hunkered down with some good books and movies, had my hubby pick up plenty of snacks and enjoyed all the cuddle time with my tiny baby! I know it's hard, but she'll only be this little for such a short time. Also, she didn't get as much contact as she probably wanted during her NICU time, and now she's finally able to get the closeness she needs with you, so she may be playing catchup!

Just hold her, cuddle her, love her and give her what she needs, and before you know it, things will get better! And then you'll blink, and she'll be running around your house at 90 miles per hour when she's 2 or 3, and you'll sooooo miss this cuddle time. Hang in there! You're a great mommy! : )

*Kori; 2/12/2009 10:12 AM
Bartel's said...: My daughter screamed most of the time for her 1st 3 months. (bad colic) Make sure she doesn't have acid reflux, that would be very irratable for her (medicine can be perscribed), other that that, if she's a colicky baby, by about 3 months she will grow out of it. I always said that with her being colicky it meant she was going to be a woman that wouldn't "settle" when she grew up. So far she's a diva, so it seems to be true. ONE thing that did help was getting her adjusted by a chiropracter. I was amazed how much it worked. Some disagree, but I swear by it. Do what you feel comfortable with, (duh) & remember "this too shall pass." Before you know it these crying spells will be gone. Cherish these times, they grow up way too fast. Take care & I enjoy reading your blog!!
~From 1 sleep deprived mom to another, Kristi from WI; 2/12/2009 10:12 AM
Anonymous said...: Hi Kelly, I'm a new reader to your blog and I must say you have one beautiful little girl! Gotta love the big babies, my daughter was
9lbs 8oz. I also had a very high maintanance little girl who was up all nite long, from 11pm to about 6 or 8 am. It also started when she was three weeks old & lasted until she was 8 weeks. The one thing that would calm her down was the vacuum or really loud music. Strange I know but it worked. We also found this product at our local health food store called gripe water for colic. That also seemed to help her. I hope this helped you & I pray for peaceful slumber for the whole family.

Kristy, Mi

P.S. Please feel free to email me with any questions. kacirishgirl@yahoo.com; 2/12/2009 10:17 AM
Anonymous said...: I agree with another comment that said she will learn she doesnt need to be held all the time. I am a new mommy too - my baby is about to be a year old in a few days. I had the same issues and I remember them all too well. So I held her and nursed her ALL the time. I had no mommy time and no showers, hardly drank enough b/c I would not even put her down so I could go to the bathroom. I did not want her to cry at all. She was born with issues and was in the NICU as well for a while so I was really anxious about so much - including feeling like a complete idiot b/c I had no idea what to do!

I was told about Babywise and when I told some others I wanted to do it they GASPED! how could i do that to my baby? So after that reaction I figured there was no way I was going to try that meathod.

About 5 weeks after getting no sleep, rare showers, and hearing screaming all day long - I tried babywise. 2 days later I had a differnt baby. She NEEDED to cry some to get to sleep. And she was crying all the time with me holding her b/c she wanted to be left alone so she could go to sleep! After doing babywise for about 2 weeks, my daughter was sleeping 8-10 hours a night! and I was a better mommy b/c I was rested as well.

here is a fantastic blog http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/; 2/12/2009 10:29 AM
Sonya said...: Once Harper gets settles at home and gets used to a routine or a schedule things will get better. I remember those first few weeks very well, at least as best as I can in a sleepless stuper! I slept in the rocking chair with my baby on my chest alot of nights because she just didn't want to be laid down.

It will pass and things will get easier for all of you.; 2/12/2009 10:32 AM
Anonymous said...: Hi Kelly,
Your girl is so precious. I don't know what I would do if I had a baby that cries alot, you seem so patient! Since you have tried everything, I would maybe call the doctor to see if there could be something else causing her to cry (reflux or something like that). I wouldn't settle for them to tell you that she is just has colic. It makes me so sad that she cries a lot...poor punk'n. Anyways, good luck with the crying, it soon shall pass.; 2/12/2009 11:11 AM
Anonymous said...: Kelly,
I don't have time to read thru the comments, so these ideas were probably already suggested. But anyway, here are a few ideas for calming a fussy baby:
1. Wear your baby. Lots of people swear this will calm a baby(sometimes with a bit of persistence). It could be a sling, wrap, Ergo, or Walmart's Snuggli, but I would certainly try this. And while Harper's little, be sure to use an inward-facing carry.
2. White noise. This has helped my baby(now 14 month old) so much! I use a fan, but there's also white noise baby CD's out there-check Amazon.
3. Swaddling. I didn't try this on my newborn, but many people believe it helps a baby feel secure and know when it's time to sleep. And there's so many cute swaddle blankets out there now! (Like Kiddopotomus SwaddleMe)
4. My baby always fell asleep as soon as we started driving somewhere. If Harper tends to calm down in the car, there are devices you can put on baby's crib to simulate the movement and noise of a car!
5. Try different positions carrying her. For quite a while my little one hated the "newborn cradle hold" and would only burp/calm down on her belly on my arm. Just finding a comfortable position for her could make a huge difference!
6. Hopefully she will grow out of the fussy stage soon. My little one had a very sleep-less, fussy few weeks, and I think it's because we had a less-than-ideal birth, a very busy, visitor-filled first week, and we didn't start nursing till she was a week old! I think it just took a long time to adjust and calm down. But after than, she slept 6+ hrs. at night and did good napping (until she got to the teeting stage...!)

God bless you and baby Harper! Sorry for the long post...
A newer reader, Miriam from ID; 2/12/2009 11:17 AM
Crystal Chilek said...: Kelly,

I really hope you read this comment because my daughter was the EXACT same way. She screamed all the time and nothing made her happy. She would arch her back and scream and cry. I was the only one who could get her to sleep and putting her down was out of the question. I have a wonderful husband who is a HUGE help but after about all I could take I took her to the doctor and asked if this was normal? He diagnosed her with reflux and have her some medicine and she was a COMPLETELY different baby. Now she still fights her sleep like no other but she does not cry for hours on end, only when she is tired. They say if a baby cries for more than 3 hours at a time than it is not normal. Another cause could be colic. My daughter is 8 months old now and we are about to try and wean her off of her medicine. She had an extreme case of reflux and another sign is that a baby never seems satisfied after and feeding and eats all the time. Reflux and colic are a lot alike. Maybe this will help. Harper is so beautiful and I am so thankful that she is well. You have blessed me more than you will ever know. God Bless!; 2/12/2009 11:18 AM
Christy said...: Hi, I read your blog everyday and am so thankful that Harper is doing so well. So many people in Birmingham, AL have been praying for her. I am a nurse at Children's Hospital and babies that have been in the NICU for a while love NOISE! Maybe if you have the tv, radio and lights on she will sleep better. From the day she was born, that is all she knew and grew used to. Most NICU babies cannot sleep without these things. Try it and see if it works! I am so glad that God has blessed your life with Harper. Prayers always. Christy; 2/12/2009 11:35 AM
Anonymous said...: White noise is the answer. Put her carseat (with you holding it at all times) on top of the dryer or washer while it is running. This calms all the screamers. Also, go into the bathroom with her in the carseat and turn on the exhaust fan with the lights off...another trick to get them to sleep.; 2/12/2009 11:47 AM
Jenni said...: Harper is gorgeous! I love the hats and bows. I wonder if it's a southern thing! The bigger the bow - the better it looks!

My daughter didn't sleep well either, at first. She would fall asleep while I was nursing or rocking and would shriek the minute I laid her down. I couldn't even use the bathroom without holding her. So, I went against the dr.'s advice and put her down on her tummy to sleep. I was amazed - she didn't cry! I was very nervous about the tummy sleeping, so I stayed beside her while she was napping. Again, I know it went against what the dr. recommended, but tummy sleeping was best for my daughter. To this day 2 and a half years later she cannot sleep on her back.; 2/12/2009 11:55 AM
Carol said...: I haven't read all the comments, so I apologize if this has already been suggested! Chances are, she's not actually eating every single time she nurses, but that she just wants the close comfort of mom. Give her a pacifier and try getting really close to her face and calmly talking to her, about anything. Maybe hearing your voice will soothe her. Also, my kids always went to sleep with Enya on the cd player! Put her to sleep while she is still awake, or else she will expect you to hold her to sleep every time. I know it's overwhelming, but it will get easier and pretty soon you will know her cries and what she wants. Good luck, she is gorgeous (but you already know that!).; 2/12/2009 11:58 AM
Anonymous said...: Just came across your blog yesterday and have been catching up on your story. Your trust in God through all of this is inspriring - thank you!

What a sweet friend you have...; 2/12/2009 12:13 PM
Katie and Justin Cox said...: So I'm an official Kelly's Korner blog stalker who has a 6 week old little boy who I am pretty sure is destined to marry your Harper (they had a similar start to this scary world!) You'll have to check out our blog when you have a "free" moment! Ha! Caden was like Harper at 3 weeks too... ALWAYS hungry and extremely fussy. I am sure you have thought of this, but being a new mom I never thought it could be gas... one dose of Mylicon and he was a totally different baby! I wasn't ready to jump to the meds but I was desperate and it worked! Might be worth a try if you haven't yet. Caden also didn't like the pack n play, bouncer, swing, etc. BUT NOW, he sleeps in his big boy crib at night and loves his bouncer and swing during the day... still not enjoying the pack n play, but that's okay! Hang in there!! Harper is a beauty!

PS: I have a friend who was a tri-chi... Kelly Propes? Several girls from my home church ended up at OBU! I loved visiting!

Oh and trips to Sonic are Caden and I's favorite afternoon activity! :); 2/12/2009 12:14 PM
Anonymous said...: It's hard as a first time parent. One thing to remember is that's it's ok to let her cry. And keep using the swing and stuff she will eventually get used to it. My sister let her daughter sleep in her carseat in her crib. She didn't like laying flat which is why she used the carseat and she got used to her crib at the same time. Try keeping her awake after 6-7 in the evening. She will learn to sleep longer.; 2/12/2009 12:21 PM
Erika said...: Not only is Harper trying to adjust to life outside the womb, she's trying to adjust to life outside the NICU. She'll adjust not matter what, but I'd suggest trying to mimic some of the NICU environment -- lights, sounds, temperature, if they swaddled her, if they had her fall asleep laying down or held, and if she was in a flat or angled crib. Just try to relax (not easy with a crying baby) and put everything but the immediate needs of baby, hubby, and you, on the back shelf. This won't last forever and you're doing a great job!; 2/12/2009 12:21 PM
Matt and Cristin said...: Okay...I completely understand the screaming baby thing. Our baby boy is 6 weeks today. All this nonsense :) started at about 3 weeks....Here is what my hubby and i have found that works: cradle her in front of you (like as if she were to be laying on your lap) and lift her up and down over and over and over again...it's an arm workout, but it works for us (and he's a tub!). What also works is to position her on your lap like she is sitting on it, wrap your arms around her and bounce her with your legs really fast. I think our baby likes that one better..because he usually gets sleepy when we do it. We have to mix it up a bit...good luck!; 2/12/2009 12:22 PM
Anonymous said...: I didn't sift through the other 375 comments, so I'm sorry if this is a repeat, but I too had an extremely high-demand baby. What worked best to calm her was turning on the oven vent. I know that sounds crazy, but the noise totally calmed her. Also, rest assured that this is a growth spurt and it won't always be like this. I now have the MOST content 18 month old who is a total joy!

Much love and rest!

Melissa in CA; 2/12/2009 12:36 PM
Lianna Knight said...: You are so blessed Kelly! Harper is more beautiful than I ever imagined!! I love all the bows!; 2/12/2009 12:41 PM
cmeandthree said...: I've been reading your blog since Harper was born. She is beautiful, you are blessed indeed. I think you may know a friend of mine that I go to church with and grew up with (Jennifer Sanders - she went to OBU and she's also on your blog listing). I understand the struggles you are going through with Harper right now. I'm sure a lot of it is adjustment pains for her. My Aunt used to be a pediatric nurse and was always telling me to adhere to a nursing/feeding schedule of 2-3 hrs or I would wear myself out. My boy just wanted to suck, but it was wearing me out. I did my best to make sure he was getting a full feeding and then gave him a pacifier in between and it seemed to help. My Aunt also recommended the book Babywise, which really worked for us. I have other friends that didn't feel comfortable with the book. I loved it though as it really gave me a guideline for getting my boy on a schedule and getting him to sleep well. Parenting is nothing but trial & error and what works for you and your family dynamics. Work with her to make sure she is getting a good feeding. You may even want to pump and give her the pumped milk just to get an idea of how many ounces she may be getting from you. I read that you can take their weight times 2.5 to see how many ounces they should be getting per day. If she's nursing every hour, she probably isn't getting a full feeding b/c she should be able to make it about every 2.5-3 hrs. My lactation nurse would tell me that. Your local hospital where you delivered may have some lactation nurses that provide free consultation. Take 'em up on it! :-) We need all the help we can get. Also, I found this blog that I've been liking b/c it follows my parenting style and not only follows Babywise, but also offers other books to read and other things to think about. Check it out if you get time (ha!). http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/

Just know that you are doing an awesome job and that you are the best momma for Harper. God chose you to be her momma!; 2/12/2009 12:46 PM
Unknown said...: It will pass... but do try and get out for a little bit- it helps SO much.
She is so stinking cute in her outfit and past ones.
They go through a lot of "stages" some are harder than others. The sleep will get a lot better too. Just try and start a routine by 4-5months, it helped us so much...but for now it's Harpers schedule ;) Dont rush it- it flies!; 2/12/2009 12:55 PM
Anonymous said...: As a mother of three ages 9.7 and 5 my advice would be enjoy every minute. I never thought I would say this, but I actually teared up when I read today's blog. My kids aren't little anymore and before you know it Harper will be learning new things everyday. My first was a fussy baby and the only thing that would work was to take him in a dark bathroom and run the water. There is something about that sound that is calming especially in a dark room. P.S. Love the bow!; 2/12/2009 1:01 PM
Anonymous said...: Have you tried the baby seat on the dryer? Of course, with the baby secure and you close by - .

Harper reminds me of my babies - they were all big, too, and different. My middle girl only slept for two hours in a 24 hour period when she was a few weeks old - she had a cold and the dr. told me to give her sudifed. He didn't tell me that sometimes that can WIRE them - it was horrible, but those times all turn into memories. God bless your sweet little family! L in AK; 2/12/2009 1:02 PM
Kelly said...: My youngest diva was like that - a Cling-on baby. A sling really helped me be able to have my hands free.; 2/12/2009 1:03 PM
Anonymous said...: So happy to see that Harper is home finally...what a blessing.

I haven't had time to read the other comments, but my last baby was the same way. If she wasn't eating, she was screaming.

It turned out to be silent reflux, we put her on Prevacid and she was a new baby. After everything Harper has been through, it is very possible she could be refluxing. Most babies grow out of it, my dd did at around 8 months when she was sitting up & eating solids.

Good luck, you have a beautiful family!; 2/12/2009 1:18 PM
The Segrest Family said...: she is a doll!!!! i bet she is cute, even when she is crying =)
i have two boys (ages 1 and 3) and i agree with alot of these comments... this is a hard stage and she is probably going through a growth spurt (hence, the eating constantly). i am a big fan of gas drops (if you dr. says okay). my sister had two babies that cried alot and she swore by 'gripe water'. i think you can get it at drug stores? good luck... and this too shall pass - in a few months, you will not remember what it was like to lose sleep.
also, with my second, i wrote thank you notes while he nursed! (after he got good at it of course) it looked funny - with my cards laying on him, etc... but got them done! it was also a great time to pray, do my quiet time, etc. it is the most peaceful he was, so i had to take advantage!! =)
you are doing great - keep it up and go get you a Route 44 drink!!!; 2/12/2009 1:21 PM
The Traveling Turtle said...: babywise. That is my advice. Or/and Baby whisperer. They are AWESOME and all the false statements out there about failure to thrive are false. They are usually passed off by people that have never read the book or tried to use the meathod. IT WORKS!

My daughter was a screamer for 5 weeks until I started on it. And it was like night and day when we did the BW meathod. She is a fantastic sleeper to the day.

I would also say to get some type or noise maker - like a sleep sheep or something - to help lull her into sleep. We have used it since we started BW and when my daughter hears the noise come on - she lunges for the bed b/c she knows it is time for night night.

Lastly - enjoy every moment of your time with her. it is hard to enjoy so much when you just feel like a tired feeding machine. But cherish all your moments. And take a picture a day of her so you can see how she has changed over the months. It is amazing!

God Bless You!; 2/12/2009 1:26 PM
Ann said...: So wonderful to see y'all at home settling in to life. The no sleeping is just a phase. She'll get through it and go back to her normal happy self.; 2/12/2009 1:38 PM
Jami said...: You have so many comments and may have this one already but I read the "Happiest Baby on the Block" and followed it with my son for the first 3 months. He was great! Swaddle, Swing, Sucking, Shhh-ing, Side (laying on their side). These 5 S's are keys to keeping a baby happy! I highly recommend it for a crying baby!; 2/12/2009 1:43 PM
Anonymous said...: Here's the AAP article that links Babywise to FTT and dehydration: http://aapnews.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/14/4/21

I only post this because I work with many breastfeeding moms as a breastfeeding counselor and have personally dealt with babies with FTT because of following the dangerous methods of this book.; 2/12/2009 1:49 PM
MMM said...: I'm right there with you!! We have our nights and days mixed up right now. Jack is just a few days younger than Harper. We pulled an all nighter last night with feedings almost every hour and he's sleeping like an angel now. I'm still in my pjs and my house is a mess. Oh well! Life with a newborn! =) I hope you and Harper get lots of sleep today.; 2/12/2009 2:14 PM
Anonymous said...: If you use your maternal instincts and baby wise your baby will not suffer. FTT and dehydration could happen to any baby. Baby wise is just a guide. It is not fair to make it sound like if you read baby wise you are not a wise parent. It is about what works for you. Who is to say that one way is better than another. I think the mother is the only one who knows what works for her and her baby. I read baby wise and paired it with what I thought worked and I have a healthy happy baby who is thriving.; 2/12/2009 2:17 PM
Anonymous said...: I had a baby just like... my first, and I cried almost as much as he did. Hopefully, she will just grow out of it soon, but maybe try to give her some time alone to fall asleep. Our little guy just couldn't fall asleep with someone else around and used nursing to try to soothe himself. Try to catch her sleepy signs before she gets too tired. Put her in her bed as soon as she starts to get sleepy. And never have your baby up for more than 2 hours. She needs about 19 hours of sleep right now. I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weissbluth. The Lord had an amazing lady pass through my life during that tough time, and she shared this book with me. I'm on my third baby now, and it has helped me with all my children so much. I give it to all my friends now, and around 4 or 5 months I alway get a big thank you note from the Mommy who finally read it and now has a sleeping baby.; 2/12/2009 3:12 PM
Chris & Whitney said...: The Tri Chi shirt is too cute! Even to an old Chi Delta!!! She's precious, Kelly! Hang in there - you'll find what works for Harper!; 2/12/2009 3:19 PM
karisue said...: The S's of babies:
Swaddle
Sideways/ stomach
Shush/ white noise
Swing/ jiggle
Suck

I also nursed while lying down *a lot* -- the baby would fall asleep and I could slip away.

Your baby might just be making up for lost time -- she wasn't held much those first few weeks, and she might just want to be held b/c she likes the security.

You'll turn a corner at about 6 months. Hang in there -- good luck!; 2/12/2009 3:31 PM
himandhermuller said...: Kelly~ I have been following your blog for a little while. What a blessing and miracle Harper is. I know that you thank God for her each day and enjoy each moment with her. I have a miracle too, her name is Bryce. She just turned three last month. I lost 9 angels before we had her and one after. I am now pregnant again and on total bed rest, so I have lots of time to pray and keep up on blogs. I read your post about how Harper is not content with anything like the bouncer, swing and so on. My daughter went through that stage at the same time. We found out that I was drinking too much coffee and it was effecting her. She would just scream and cry and arch herself. As soon as I cut that out, she was like night and day. Also, some babies just don't like too much stimulation and just need to be still. Hope this helps, and hang in there. You have a little dolly that is so beautiful and a true gift from God.

Keep the great blogs coming.

In HIs Name,
Melissa

www.BryceMadison.blogspot.com
www.continuedblessings.blogspot.com; 2/12/2009 3:52 PM
Laurel said...: Watch the video "The Happiest Baby on the Block" It soothes them by using their natural reflexes: noises, swaddeling, movement.

I'm so happy Harper is healthy!!; 2/12/2009 4:02 PM
CP said...: I have no idea if someone mentioned it yet - but in almost 500 comments, I'm sure they have! But, check what you're eating. Babies are quite sensitive to what Mommy eats: milk and gassy veggies can be the worst. Try cutting dairy out of diet for a few days and see how she does (then add it back to see if she gets cranky again). She's beautiful!; 2/12/2009 4:23 PM
Laura said...: Yes - it's the three week growth spurt - brace yourself - there's another one at 6 weeks! I would advise against a bottle just yet - generally 4-6 weeks is the minimum for that if you can hold out a bit longer just to ensure she is firmly established with nursing.

You sound so similar to me about three and a half years ago - my first son, Logan, was SO high maintenance. I didn't pee by myself for about 6 weeks! He had to be constantly held, or constantly on the move. He slept on either me or my husband for weeks and we even developed what came to be known as 'the Logan shuffle' which was an upwards movement of swinging him in our arms which would calm him and often be the only way we could get him to fall asleep in the night (when nursing was not working).

Hang in there Kelly! This is a HARD stage, but it is over all too quickly!; 2/12/2009 4:40 PM
Laura said...: Oh and I forgot to say - invest in a sling/carrier and the book Happiest Baby on the Block - seriously - it will change your life!; 2/12/2009 4:41 PM
Mindy said...: VACUUM, MYLICON, and you get to stay away from the dairy products!; 2/12/2009 5:09 PM
Miss Mommy said...: I am also typing one handed... :). The fussiness, eating mania got better around 3 months for us. Hang in there, it's really tough. I;m impressed you were able to make your bed!!! I still don't do that.; 2/12/2009 5:37 PM
Mitzi said...: I don't have time to read the comments, so someone else might have said this, but if your milk is in good and she is allowed to have a bottle, can you pump one bottle a day and have your sweet husband give it to her while you sleep. This worked so well for us when ours were tiny. I would feed the babies at about 9 and then crash and my hubby would take the bottle I pumped and do the next feeding and then put the baby to bed in the swing or pack in play near him in the family room. When they woke up the next time, he would bring them to me. Then he would sleep the rest of the night and I would be on baby duty-- but those 4 hours or so of uninterrupted sleep to start the night made it so much more tolerable and made me a better mommy. He didn't get a full eight hours, but he would get a little nap while the baby slept in the family room and then could sleep the rest of the night without stirring because he knew that he had already had his bonding time with the baby and had done something that REALLY helped me. (My love language is sleep!!)

Whatever you do, I hope you find something that works for you and am just so glad that she is there with you. This is so minor compared to those first days. Praying for you still.; 2/12/2009 5:39 PM
Mary said...: Kelly,

This is my first time to comment, but I want you to know I have actually woken up in the middle of the night a few times these past weeks thinking of you and your baby.

My baby is now 21 and a junior at Texas A&M. Whoop! He RARELY slept the first three months of his life. Like one or your previous comments said, it is just something you have to get through. It does pass and that baby as you already know is totally worth it. By about eight months old all our son wanted to do was sleep. I had to wake him up to go to Mothers's Day Out when he was one year old. I'm confident Harper will eventually get into a routine and so will you. It will happen! My husband and I had been married five years when our son came along, and we had tried to get pregnant for about two years. So when he got here there were times that I kept wondering "when will things get back to normal"? Well I came to realize after a few months, that a new "normal" came to take over and that was OK, if not wonderful. Now my husband and I again have a new "normal" taking over as empty nesters, which is also quite wonderful in a different way. But I tell all new moms I meet, enjoy, it goes by fast!

I wish you the very best. It is a little hard right now, but in a few months the new "normal" will be totally fun. Hang in there. I I know you will.; 2/12/2009 6:07 PM
Anonymous said...: Oh Kelly,

A seasoned mom here. Relax, these days won't go on for too long. Harper will get into a rhythm. I promise things will settle down. I'll never forget those early days and my eyes burning from lack of sleep. I look back now and...it was just a flash in the pan. Such a short time, really.

Harper is darling! What a beautiful baby. How we prayed for these days you are experiencing. Take your time now and rest when you can. The spring will come and you will once again feel rested and optimistic.

I'm so happy for you and Scott!

Love,
Margaret Duffy, Virginia Beach; 2/12/2009 6:32 PM
Anonymous said...: I have been a lurker for awhile and really love your blog. My girls and I(2&4) have been praying for your Harper, she's Georgeous! My first was the same way, I refused to think anything was wrong and toughed it out, it was a very hard time. Be sure to tell your Dr. I didn't. Found out later she probably had baby acid reflux. Didn't you say you had it bad? My sister had the same thing and got medicine for her baby. A completely different baby. Always happy and slept well. Worth asking... dont suffer if you dont have to is my advice...ENJOY every second. Good Luck and praise God:); 2/12/2009 6:34 PM
Anonymous said...: Get a swing and gas drops!!
Some babies need motion and have gas. Get a good burp out....don't ever skip the burping.
Don't get stressed when she cries (easier said than done)...stressed mommy =stressed baby. Tag team with husband every 20 mintues if you have to.
Babies are more work than you ever imagined, but in that hard work...you will discover love and joy you never imagined.
Blessings to you and thankful for your miracle!!; 2/12/2009 6:42 PM
Carly said...: I've seen this suggestion a few times already...but I have to tell you the vacuum really works! The vacuum and swaddling were so great with our daughter who would scream and cry. She still needs her fan at 15 months. Also, she hated her bouncy seat and swing when she was really tiny, but those both ended up being helpful once she was a little older. She slept in her bouncy seat for many months. She is such a doll! Good luck! It continues to get easier! :); 2/12/2009 6:47 PM
Anonymous said...: We have a Lily (age 1) she finally slept from 7pm -7am at 11 months.
Exhaustion is part of the package.
Sleep everyday when you can...nap everyday. My husband used to call our home a Lily-ocracy. The new baby runs the house for awhile.
Some days a shower was my only escape from the work.
You are soo very blessed, and I know that you realize that....but balance that out with remembering that mothering a new baby is the hardest job in the world.
Soon she will settle into a schedule and you will know her the very best. Take time to get to know her...she is new to our world.
Some days you will only wish you had a 40 hour per week job as that would be easier.
Good Luck!; 2/12/2009 6:49 PM
Just Terrific said...: Harper is beautiful! I love her cute little outfits, too!

About her crying.....all babies are different....but I wonder....maybe she might like being wrapped up in jammies and a blanket more. Maybe all of the different things are over-stimulating for her. She'll just be 3 weeks old tomorrow, right? (Happy 3 Week Birthday, Sweet Harper!!) But, with all that she has been through, maybe very routine and low-key is what she needs. I don't know.....she may just be adjusting and will hit her groove soon.

I hope you get more sleep soon, too!

Being a Mom is a learning experience everyday. Just hang in there. You're doing great!; 2/12/2009 7:10 PM
rhilborn said...: I have a baby that is 10 weeks old and when he has had growth spurts (one at 2-3 weeks & one at 4-5) he nurses all the time and sleeps some but not much. It is amazing how God's design works, that all our babies have to do is nurse nonstop for a few days and they sufficiently stimulate your body to produce the amount of milk they now need. A nurse at our pediatricians office was even explaining that babies are able to regulate the temperature of your milk to their liking-what a beautiful design God provides!; 2/12/2009 9:01 PM
Cayle said...: My mom use to drive me around the block and it would knock me out everytime[=
She is so cute; 2/12/2009 9:36 PM
Anonymous said...: I am so happy Harper is home and healthy. What a darling - well, your whole family is darling! 2 of our 3 children would cry and cry and really very little could satisfy when they were Harper's age. My husband would hold them tight and secure and just let them cry as he rocked them. Then they would settle down for peaceful sleep. Later someone told that crying was newborns 'form of exercise' and they just needed to expend the pent up energy. at first it was very hard for me to listen to as i wanted to "fix it" so they would not cry. It took alot for me to trust his idea. He was right- this went on for a couple weeks -if i remember right- but afte they went to sleep and slept soundly and peacefully. The best advice, like someone said, is just experimenting with what works for your child and remember- YOU ARE ANOINTED TO BE HARPER'S MAMA. DON'T DOUBT YOURSELF.
blessings, Diane; 2/12/2009 10:23 PM
Anonymous said...: Try a Moby wrap. It worked wonders for my son. He cried ALL THE TIME. It was the only way I was able to do anything. They love it because they are right up next to your body and they can feel snuggled and hear your heartbeat. Both my babies were fussy babies, I only wish I had known about the Moby wrap with my first. Good luck, she's beautiful.; 2/12/2009 11:11 PM
Anonymous said...: Harper's Tri Chi onesie is so fun! I'm so thankful that Harper is a good nurser. Mommy's milk is best! Schäfer was a nightmare to breastfeed. He had no interest in the breast. I was really disappointed and upset for a long time about that. Hey - I tried to talk Hubs into naming our adopted daughter Harper so we could get all your hand-me-downs! He noted that it didn't start with "s". Silly guy.; 2/12/2009 11:35 PM
Anonymous said...: Love her Tri Chi onesie. So sweet. I'm so happy to see that Harper is nursing so well. Mommy's milk is best. It's also so great that she gets so much skin to skin time with you. Hang in there! Schäfer refused to latch (there were lots of things going on) so we never breastfed which led to me pumping for 5 months. I felt like such a BAD mom, but eventually I got over the guilt. Harper's doing so great! We're so delighted!

I asked Hubs if we could name our adopted daughter Harper so we could get your hand-me-downs, but he noted that it didn't start with "s". Silly guy!; 2/12/2009 11:47 PM
Anonymous said...: hi there! i found your blog through angie smith. what an amazing and uplifting story you have. i just wanted to throw out a few thoughts on harper's crying and always wanting to be held. i am a child life specialist (someone who works with children and families in the hospital to make sure the experience is the least stressful it can be) they provide developmentally appropriate interventions and also help parents support their children while in the hospital. anyway! i think perhaps harper is adjusting to being out of the hospital and is just very nervous about whether this is her new "normal" being at home, or if she will be going back to the hospital soon. (does that make sense?) hope this helps a little!; 2/13/2009 3:33 AM
Lucky in Love said...: I love your comment about love language in here. My husband and I went through a teaching about love languages when we were doing that pre-martial counseling thing....SO interesting. It was definitely my favorite topic.

Anyway...my love language is helping around the house...this is clear. But sometimes as a joke...I try to tell him my love language has changed to gifts! This was actually an option...and I really could truly care less about gifts...but sometimes when I really want something...this is the excuse I'll use. It never works...but it's always good for a laugh!; 2/13/2009 6:19 AM
Sue said...: Harper is so cute. I can't believe how she has never looked like a newborn. I had 3 miscarriages before I had my son and daughter. They both had colic and cried a lot especially my daughter. I noticed a few comments talked about background noise soothed their babies. I totally believe that works. I used the dryer...stand by it when its on and sway...hairdyer laying close to them(blowing the other direction of course) and my sister-in-law used the static on the radio and the vacuum sweeper noise. Anything that is a constant noise seems to do the trick. My kids are now teenagers and the crying/trying times a but a whisper now in my memories of them. This too shall pass. Hang in there and just focus on what she will become and all the fun you will have the rest of her life.; 2/13/2009 7:47 AM
Carla (Choosing His Joy) said...: My daughter was the same way--she screamed all the time. She hated the sling and everything else you mentioned, but she LOVED the Baby Bjorn carrier. She loved being straight up and nuzzled against me. It always made her stop crying! Turns out she had acid reflux and we didnt know it--so it made sense why she wanted to be upright all the time! She is beautiful--congratulations!; 2/13/2009 12:47 PM
michele said...: Hi Kelly! I just want to thank you for sharing your precious little girl’s story with us. I’m in awe of the miracle she is. God is SO good!
My son is going to be one in a week. I can’t believe it. Like Harper, all he wanted to do when we came home from the hospital was eat. I was so envious of the moms with an every three hour feeding schedule. I felt like my little boy was attached to me 24 hours a day! One night while I was trying to stay awake to feed him, it hit me. He won’t always need me like this, and I better take full advantage of it all now. Before I know it, I’ll be up in the middle of the night because of him, but I’ll be waiting for the teenage him to come home. =) It all goes by way too fast, as I’m sure you already know. Not that looking at it this way kept me from feeling totally sleep deprived, it just helped me see it in a different light.
Another thing that really helped me was the book “The Happiest Baby on the Block” by Harvey Karp. In the book, he explains how babies actually need/want another three months in the womb but our bodies can’t accommodate that. The book suggests simulating the womb as much as possible to calm the baby. Swaddling our son was a lifesaver! He slept swaddled till he was almost eight months old. I also had a sling that I would carry him around in during the day (for the few minutes he wasn’t eating and I could be up and walking around), so I’d have free hands. SSSHH’ing him when he was fussy helped calm him wonderfully. I also had a Teddy Bear from Target that made sounds of the womb (sounds of the ocean also worked). Another thing the book helped me with was assuring me it’s impossible to spoil babies within the first three months of their life. I took full advantage of this and hardly ever put him down! They’re just so amazing and precious when they’re so tiny. I could just hold and look at him all day long.
I wish you and your family nothing but the best! I have truly enjoyed reading your updates.
Hugs,
Michele; 2/13/2009 2:23 PM
Sarah. said...: I may be a little late to comment on this topic - Lord willing, you've already found something that works. When my little guy didn't sleep and I ended up nursing him around the clock, the only thing that would knock him out was for me to hold him while bouncing on one of those big rubber exercise balls. Nothing else worked - swings, bouncy chairs, car rides, etc. but something abou the motion of that ball did the trick. Of course, you end up spending a million hours bouncing on a stupid ball, or for as long as you want your kid to sleep. But it worked for us. And hey, helps to knock of some preggo weight, too :).

When he got older, around two months, we did Babywise and it worked great.

Good luck!; 2/13/2009 4:50 PM
bellancharliesmama said...: I have been reading your blog and have been praying for you and Harper but have never left a comment.
After reading this post about a baby that doesn't sleep and screams all day, I felt as if you were talking about my life 4 1/2 years ago! My daughter was exactly like that. We tried everything and still screaming! we did find one thing that worked for us...we would hold her and sit on one of those big exercise balls and bounce. That was the only thing that would calm her. I didn't read all you 500+ comment LOL so maybe someone already suggested this but if you still are in need of some suggestions, here you go! great luck to you!
Rebekah; 2/13/2009 4:55 PM
Angie said...: A friend of mine had a baby that didn't like to sleep and her grandmother gave her some great advice. She would put something warm in her crib before you put her in it--like a heating pad, or a warm towl--to heat her mattress. Once it's warm lay her down.

I also would push my little boy around the house in his stroller. He'd fall asleep and I let him sleep there.

It will get better! Just hang in there. When she gets a little bigger you can add a teaspoon of rice cereal to her bottle and she will sleep all night! It's great!; 2/13/2009 7:04 PM
Anonymous said...: I recommend taking Harper to the chiropractor. I have taken both of my kids starting around 2 weeks old at least once a month. Especially when they aren't sleeping well.; 2/14/2009 8:28 PM
Sunny Day Tag Girl said...: My first born was just like that!!! She is now my easy one!!! She had gas... we used the mylicon drops some and tried to help her by pushing her legs up against her belly. We also let her sleep in the car seat and then.... gasp... we let her sleep on her tummy some. The first time I layed right next to her and watched, but she settled down and actually slept for a couple of hours. Another suggestion is try to get in a routine. I for some reason thought she would put herself on one, but that wasn't the case. A very sweet and wise friend suggested it and it worked. Do the same thing at the same time each day. My 2nd is 17 months younger than the 1st and she was on a schedule from day 1. Our daily routine was already established because of the 1st but oh my what a difference, the 2nd was so much easier!!
As the saying goes..."This too shall pass" While you are in the middle of it, it is so hard, but it really will go fast.; 2/17/2009 8:59 PM

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