Kelly's Korner: I have about 7 minutes to make a post.........

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I have about 7 minutes to make a post.........

This is for all my OBU friends ----- Harper wanted to show you her shirt!!!

By the looks of her in this picture - I think she is trying to tell me she'd rather pledge E. :-)

This is us during some happy famly time! There hasn't been just a ton of that in the last two days. We are so thankful to have a sweet baby and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thankful she is healthy but she has pretty much only slept about 6 out of the last 36 hours. I'm either nursing the other 30 hours or she is screamimg!!! I know this is the 3 week growth spurt (or so we hope!) We are really just glad she is eating so much and her lungs work so well. Have any of you had a baby that would not sleep and only wants to be fed and/or held? I'm writing this with one hand while she's calm for once. Any advice for this new mom? (P.S. I've tried the bouncy seat, car seat, swing, sling, miracle blanket and pack and play - she hates them all. She's high maitenance - where does she get it from??? Must be her dad. ha!)

This is the best part of our day - when daddy comes at lunch or night. He helps me so much. If I can work in a shower somehow today and can pump a bottle or two......I am getting out tonight for 30 minutes.........maybe to buy stamps and go to sonic!!!!!

On another note, we have been so blessed lately and I have been so burdened for others........sick children, tornado victims, almost 1000 people in my small town yesterday who were laid off. We are living in such scary times and my anxiety has increased so much knowing I am responsible for another life now. It's hard to turn on the tv these days and to not get depressed, But God has told us not to worry over and over in the Bible. He is in control. He is Jehovah Jirah - my provider. My hope is in that.

P.S. If I haven't returned your phone call or e-mail or written your thank you note yet........hopefully you understand why now. I haven't combed my hair in about 3 days. My friend Kacy (one of the most thoughtful people I've ever met) called today and said "I'm about to ring your doorbell and run - answer when I leave" and she left me an orange roll from our favorite tea room. She speaks my love language. :-) I want to learn to be that kind of friend, don't you?

Also - be in prayer for this family. This little girl was a twin and was born at 30 weeks. She has had two heart surgeries and one bowel surgery. Please pray that she lives and will be healed - her name is Veiyah. Her twin was lost.

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526 comments:

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Rach@In His Hands said...: How great that you have such a helpful husband! It's apparent how much he loves his sweet girl!

Her bows are sooooo cute!!!

I know what you mean...I've have a long list of prayers I say each day.; 2/11/2009 3:26 PM
Michele said...: Oh my gosh...I'm the first comment! Yippeee! I just love all the outfits you put Harper in..she is just tooo cute for words!

Hugz,
Michele; 2/11/2009 3:27 PM
Johanna B said...: I liked to read while I was breastfeeding. Have you read The Shack? Powerful messages.; 2/11/2009 3:27 PM
Michele said...: I LOVE the big flower and BIG bow! Precious! Hange in there!!! It does get easier ~ at least the sleeping part does! Try to get out if you can (even if you don't get that shower). Ha!; 2/11/2009 3:29 PM
capperson said...: I love all her little hats..they are sooo cute!!!; 2/11/2009 3:29 PM
Anonymous said...: Kelly I love your updates. She does not look like she has ever been sick. Adorable! My little one went thru the same thing, it was so hard for me to breast feed because I felt like thats all I was doing. It WILL get easier! As far as the sleeping goes, it takes time. I went thru many nights in the first few weeks of hardly any sleep and then at 6 weeks to the day she slept all night (7 hrs). I wish the same for you! Does she like her car seat? I used to drive Brooke around and she would calm down and fall asleep and then carry her carseat in and let her sleep in there while I watched TV or something:) Good Luck. I know you are an amazing Mom!

Natalie, TX; 2/11/2009 3:29 PM
Anonymous said...: as a mom of a teenager and two grown kids........my advice
relax and enjoy the time. Harper will learn you don't have to be picked up every time she hollers. Put on some classical soothing music or just try changing her position (put her at the opposite end of her bed) so she has some different scenery.
I firmly believe in mommy time. Go somewhere for 30 minutes while dad is on duty, even if it is just driving around the neighborhood. Who would have thought a jaunt to the local Quick Trip would be a treat!
bev; 2/11/2009 3:29 PM
Landra Lynn said...: Awww! What a precious angel!

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-No-Cry-Sleep-Solution/Elizabeth-Pantley/e/9780071381390/?itm=1

This book helped a good girlfriend of mine with the same problem. It is supposed to be a "miracle book".; 2/11/2009 3:29 PM
Anonymous said...: Try that Miracle Blanket that MckMama raves about. She also has those cute slings she puts the baby in. I know the crying can wear you out, but my belief is you can't spoil them too much by holding at this point!! I've been a lurker for awhile but have so enjoyed reading and looking at all your pictures. You've inspired me to begin taking so many more! Congrats on precious Harper!!; 2/11/2009 3:30 PM
Anonymous said...: I know what you mean about being burdened--there is so much sadness and heartache out there, yet I try to remind myself of all the wonderful things God does. I'm so sad about sweet Cora and her family, yet I'm so thankful for my own healthy children. I'm thankful that Harper is okay. I'm thankful to God for all of the babies and children that are born healthy and lead healthy lives. It's easy to forget about those in the midst of such sadness. I keep telling myself, "be faithful!"

Crying babies...hmmmmm. :) You're doing everything right. Just hold her and feed her when she needs it. You'll get past this hump. I hope you're able to take a break tonight though and get out of the house. It's easy to get a little stir crazy. Loved the latest photos--Harper is such a precious cutie.; 2/11/2009 3:30 PM
Christina said...: Well, to answer your question, yes, I had a baby who never slept and who cried (I'm talking screaming) unless she was held or fed (and sometimes even then). It started right around week 3.

Perhaps this is just Harper's way of adjusting to life outside the hospital, but it may also be the start of colic, as it was for us.

I won't lie, those first 3 months were awful. There wasn't anything I (or anyone else) could do to stop the crying or make it easier. Em just had to get through that phase. If this turns out to be the case, my best advice is to take any and all help offered and get away from the house whenever you can, if only for 15 minutes, just to de-stress a little.

Best wishes. I am so happy to see you all at home with a healthy beautiful girl!

Christina in Indiana; 2/11/2009 3:30 PM
Amy said...: Yes, my son was insatiable! He would nurse nearly constantly all day and night long. It was also difficult to get him to sleep. I had to walk him to sleep and then hold him while he slept. He woke up immediately if I ever put him down. He was held 24/7 the first three months and then he started sleeping through the night on his own. Looking back, we think his tummy was bothering him because we now know that he has LOTS of food allergies. You are doing the right thing. Keep feeding her and loving her. You'll never regret the time you spent holding them - they get big so fast!
She is so beautiful!!; 2/11/2009 3:31 PM
alyssa said...: yep, my first child was the same way. wanting to be fed or else held. i just took it as a compliment ; ); 2/11/2009 3:31 PM
Linda said...: It will get better. Keep telling yourself it will not last forever and try to take little breaks when you can...it will save your sanity. Much love to you.; 2/11/2009 3:31 PM
Outnumbered 4 to 1 said...: Hey Sweet Kelly,
Okay my advice is make sure the house is not too quiet. She got use to the noises at the hospital. I am praying for you everyday an it does get a little easier! God Bless; 2/11/2009 3:31 PM
Phillips Family said...: I would recommend getting a Miracle Blanket. It is truly a miracle. My oldest never would nap as a newborn, until we purchased the miracle blanket. It was the best $30 ever spent. Some specialty stores carry them or you can order one online. It is by far the best swaddeling blanket and soothes fussy babies almost instantly. Harper will feel warm and secure and you can put her down for a little bit.

Enjoy those 30 minutes out tonight! They will recharge those Mommy batteries!; 2/11/2009 3:32 PM
Kayla said...: SOOO precious!! I just love that picture of the three of you on the bed! I'm so glad Scott helps you out quite a bit. I've heard some scaryyyyyy stories of some husbands!!!

Enjoy your 30 minutes out tonight!; 2/11/2009 3:32 PM
Julie said...: my advice is to not think about anything else but just focus on your precious baby! they are only this little for such a short period of time. SOAK IT UP girl and don't worry about all the neg. going on around you!; 2/11/2009 3:33 PM
Rachel said...: Oh she is just too cute in those first pictures....

Get your rest when you can and just try to relax. She will start sleeping more, eventually!! Main thing - SLEEP WHEN SHE DOES!!!; 2/11/2009 3:33 PM
Marci @All Things Wonderful said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 2/11/2009 3:33 PM
Elissa said...: It is so fun to see Harper sans IVs, leads, cords, etc. She is a doll! I have three kids, my youngest is turning 3 on Monday...BooHoo! But I will tell you this. ALL of my kids nursed constantly at first and none of them slept especially well for the first several (okay, more than 6) months. I don't want to discourage you, just know there is no right way to do things, no magic formula. To be honest, much of the first several months is just taking it day by day and if you have to nurse all day, then that is okay. Some would say using a strict schedule will work. But looking back now, would I trade all of that time stuck on the couch nursing my sweet babies for more sleep? Not on your life! You are doing a wonderful job, just keep loving that baby girl!; 2/11/2009 3:34 PM
Patrice and Higgins said...: My third son, ate and ate and ate and then he ate some more. During all the times he didn't eat, he thought he needed to eat, so he cried! It did get better and finally I was able to take a shower around his 2nd month birthday!! It will get better, trust me!; 2/11/2009 3:34 PM
Hoosier Couponers said...: Kelly,

Harper is just gorgeous! I love the head bands and bows : ) Have you tried to miracle blanket? Mckmama thinks it works the best! Just enjoy these times now, they grow up so fast!; 2/11/2009 3:35 PM
Candice said...: I have 8 children and 2 of them didn't like to sleep unless I was holding them. Know what?? They are now 14 and 20 and I can't remember how tired I was or how frustrated. I only remember that it went by so quickly! they no longer require me to hold them to sleep and man! do I miss it!!! Enjoy it while you can:)

You can never spoil a precious child by holding her!; 2/11/2009 3:35 PM
Marci @All Things Wonderful said...: Hang in there. It will get easier! She will grow so fast...Enjoy this time. Adorable pictures. I love her hats.; 2/11/2009 3:35 PM
Anonymous said...: Hi! I'm a Mom of four.... and my last spent the first three months either crying or nursing. Looking back we believe she had colic, though she was happy when she was nursing or being held/entertained. Anyways, whatever you do, keep nursing, drink lots of fluids yourself, and get lots of sleep when you can. You might want to try to get a hold of a Miracle Blanket. They were not around when my babies were little, but supposedly they really help settle little ones. Google it and you'll see a video on how quickly it settles a baby.... Hang in there!!! Mine are 6, 11, 16 & almost 18, but I remember the exhaustion well!!! And stop watching the news.... think happy thoughts.... and PRAY!!!
Rebecca :)
sahm4kidlets@shaw.ca
Oh, and she is HONESTLY one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen!!!!!; 2/11/2009 3:36 PM
Kara said...: I'm a fan of the swaddling blankets myself. A sound machine for sleeping too and Mommy, stay away from that spaghetti sauce, tomoto based things, broccoli both big no no's I swear by that. The one day I accidentally ate tomatoe soup my baby was sooo fussy. You will see when Harper starts eating anything tomato based will probably tear her little bottom up. It does the same thing to the stomach at her age. Not fun eating when you are breastfeeding, but I believe in it completely.

Congratulations and good luck, enjoy EVERY moment.

Kara-friend of Sarah Shelton's; 2/11/2009 3:36 PM
Megan said...: Unfortunately, that is just the way it is for most babies at that age--want to nurse or be held constantly! It does get better! Nursing may seem like all you do for the next two months, but it will get easier! Just look at it as you're building quite the supply :)

If you need a few minutes to breathe, don't feel bad laying her in her crib/basinette and just letting her cry for a few minutes while you pull yourself together. Even if they don't tell you, most moms go through the same frustration!; 2/11/2009 3:36 PM
Anonymous said...: Iam so glad you have her home god is amazing; 2/11/2009 3:36 PM
Karen said...: She is so precious!! My son was 10lb 2ozs when he was born. I tried to breastfeed but couldn't--no milk. When he was about 3 weeks old we started giving him cereal with some of his bottles. He was so big and a normal bottle never seemed to fill him up. This worked for him.; 2/11/2009 3:36 PM
The Carpenters said...: Yes, the growth spurts are hard but be thankful she's going through them, right? :) My girls are 4 1/2 months and the past three weeks or so they've been up every two hours at night...separately. Do the math. That means that about every hour I'm up with one of them! It's getting better, though. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so blessed and honored to be able to nurse them both and NOT give them formula. It just makes me feel proud.
Geeze...what growth spurt should they be going through at 4 months? ;)
Pumping time is my computer time. I'm always typing with one hand. You kinda get used to it, don't you? ;); 2/11/2009 3:36 PM
The Allens said...: Your faith is, as always, an inspiration. And I am just thrilled to see pictures of your family at home with your precious daughter!; 2/11/2009 3:37 PM
Lyn Kearns said...: That describes my first born. He had both colic and bad reflux. If he was awake, he was screaming and then he didn't sleep much. I read just about every book imaginable on the subject for help, but the ONLY thing that worked for us was to run the vacuum cleaner. I'm not exaggerating. We would sit on our big therapy ball and bounce him in his miracle blanket and then run the vacuum cleaner until he fell asleep. Then I would sit in the recliner with him and slept with him on my chest so that we could get some sort of quality sleep. It would put him out like a light. I seriously think he was unable to self-soothe himself at all and he needed the outside help for it. We burned one vacuum cleaner motor up in the process. With her being in the NICU for so long with all the machines humming, beeping, and people talking, it's no wonder she is having a hard transition. Hope you find something that works for you! She is so precious!; 2/11/2009 3:37 PM
Jen said...: I've been following your blog for a little while now - Harper is so precious. I totally remember that stage, being home with your newborn...you both have a lot of learning to do about each other. It will get easier...I remember doing anything to keep Chloe asleep. Anyway - here's what I used to tell myself the 1000 times I was getting up every night... "She is only little once...and this is time I can't get back" It is totally the truth. The grow SO fast and before you know it, they'll be wanting to squirm away instead of cuddling. Enjoy every moment with your GORGEOUS girlie girl!! I am so envious of her headbands. Chloe is still bald and needs some herself !!; 2/11/2009 3:37 PM
annalee said...: you are doing great sweet momma! it hasn't been that long ago, and i remember that exhausted worn out feeling very well. when 30 minutes on your own feels like an eternity in silence. i know how much you adore sweet harper, but its great you are taking a few minutes to renew too:)
as for the not sleeping... the first month or two, miss adelaide would only sleep in her carseat carrier or her swing so that's what we did!; 2/11/2009 3:38 PM
Jenny said...: she's so stinkin' cute!

advice...

1-the miracle blanket is supposedly the best thing on earth. i never "needed" it with mine but i have about 7 friends who swear by it!

2-my first son slept in his carseat for the first 12 weeks! he loved being in there so we would stick the carseat in his crib and let him sleep like that! just call me mother of the year for that one---hahahahaha! i felt guilty but i was desperate!; 2/11/2009 3:38 PM
kelly said...: Kelly
I have followed your blog since the birth of your beautiful little girl and prayed for your family. I have one child (a 20 year old son!). I know we had moments of no sleep, lots of crying and not knowing what to do, but what I remember most are the sweet, tender, loving moments of his childhood. The hard times get better and the good times get GREAT! Then they become teenagers!!!(Just kidding!). Good Luck to you and your family and God Bless; 2/11/2009 3:38 PM
Anonymous said...: Hi Kelly. My name is Kari and I live Texas. I found a link to your blog while on my daily "blog walk" a few weeks ago, and couldn't keep from checking your site to see how your little girl was doing!! I am so thankful to the Lord the He healed and now you have a healthy baby girl at home. I also have a little girl who is almost two and wanted to offer advice on a baby that wants to be held all the time...

I once asked the same question of people when my daughter was just weeks/months old. Many people told me that you have to just let them learn to be content lying alone, swinging, etc. However, one wise lady said to me, "Kari, I held my babies as much as they wanted to be held, because you know what? One day you'll wake up and they won't want to be held!!"

Needless to say, I took her advice and we held our little girl, even though we didn't get much done unless she was sleeping, and not but a few months later she began to not need to be held. Good luck!! Enjoy that little one...she will be walking and almost two before you know it!; 2/11/2009 3:38 PM
Anonymous said...: YES! My 2nd born did not sleep much for awhile and ate and ate for a few week span...and everyone told me too that it was a growth spurt, and it would pass...and it did..so my best advice is just remember "this too shall pass" because it does and you will sleep again one day soon :); 2/11/2009 3:38 PM
Heather said...: What a great post, I was thinking about everyone during the storms last night. My 3rd baby, who is 10 months old now, wanted to eat all the time. I will say that they grow out of it and it gets easier. Try other things then to just start nursing immediately. Mollie loves outside and she did even at Harper's age. If it's a nice day try that during the days and just see if it works.

Also I love that pink sweatsuit that you are wearing and that you wore in hospital. Do you mind sharing where you got that??
Blessings to you and your family!; 2/11/2009 3:39 PM
Emily said...: Hi Kelly,

I started following your story when Harper was born. Cena and I are friends. We live in the same town and our little girls are almost exactly the same age - one week apart.

I prayed and prayed for Harper and I am so happy that she is a healthy and at home now.

I might have some advice for you based on my experience. My little girl Lily was a big baby. She was 9 pounds when she was born and when she was two weeks old, she was just starving. I wasn't able to breastfeed, but we were feeding her basically all day. My mom told me to give her some rice cereal in her bottle. It was a slow process of not giving her too much and determining how much to give her and I caused a couple of minor tummy aches, but we filled up her. She was satisfied. I asked her doctor and he said sometimes bigger babies need this. I don't know how this would work with breast feeding but maybe it would be worth a try. (She also started sleeping all night a couple of weeks after we started the cereal.); 2/11/2009 3:39 PM
Anonymous said...: It's most likely a growth sprut and YES GET OUT OF THE HOUSE IF YOU CAN!!!

You will feel so much better afterwards.; 2/11/2009 3:39 PM
becky said...: i bought a "sleepy wrap" for my little girl. she was a NICU baby and was the same way at first. it was hot pink and we are finished using it. i would love to send it your way if you have any interest! it has the bag and instruction book still. my email address is btuckerrn@att.net. we are finished and i'd love for it to love another big baby girl...plus give mama some sanity and be able to use both hands.; 2/11/2009 3:40 PM
Anonymous said...: Harper is such a doll!!

All the advice already given is great, and things that I did with both my little ones. Have you worn her yet? That is the ONLY thing that allowed for me to get things done with my daughter, she was out like a light the minute I put her in. I loved it and cherish every "baby wearing" moment.

Rae
Cedar Park, TX; 2/11/2009 3:40 PM
Anonymous said...: The noise machine from Brookstone saved our lives!!! The white noise has to be louder than the baby's cry (I know... hard to imagine). Between that and her paci we finally got some sleep. Good luck!; 2/11/2009 3:40 PM
Sarah said...: My son was like that. He had colic for 4 months and would scream if not held 24 hours a day. It was utterly exhausting. The only adivce I can give you is to get a sling and wear her around the house and pick up some Gripe Water. I used it like once or twice my with youngest and it put him right to sleep. Just have peace in knowing that it will pass and she won't always need you so much. My colic baby is now 4 years old and is very independent.; 2/11/2009 3:41 PM
Anonymous said...: Hey Kelly!!

She is just precious! I promise things will get easier. Tyr the swaddling blanket when it is time for her to sleep, it did wonders with me two. I would also use it at night na dboth slept better, it looks like it would hurt them, but I promise they love it. Another thing that worked for me, is that I would not let them sleep for more than 3 hours during the day, I would wake them up and feed the, try to keep them up for at least 30 mintues to an hour and let them sleep again(swaddled). At night, let them wake up on their own. I promise it works just give it a try! Best of luck! Have a great night!
Laura Colclasure; 2/11/2009 3:41 PM
Hailey said...: Harper is beautiful!
About the eating and sleeping thing, my Caroline was the same way. I started feeding her cereal with a spoon at 4 weeks because my milk just wasn't enough. I eventually had to go to Enfamil b/c C was not happy with my milk at all anymore.
Also try the miracle blanket. It works wonders!; 2/11/2009 3:41 PM
Unknown said...: My advice is: This too shall pass. I know it doesn't feel like it will but she will regulate and begin to learn to eat better and sleep better.

I slept in an easy chair (with my baby) for a while to make nights easier. Also, be sure you're giving her a full feeding. For me that meant giving her both sides at each feeding.

She is so cute and adorable. She'll start to sleep better in a few weeks. Enjoy this cuddly stage. Mine just turned 1 and now I wish she'd snuggle!; 2/11/2009 3:41 PM
Kristie said...: I might suggest that you buy yourself a baby sling and try that. Head on over to mcmama's blog and ask her about what type of sling she uses for her wee one, she is a breastfeeding and baby sling wearing mom! http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

Also have you tried the miracle blanket that bundles her up? Babies like to be snug when they sleep.

Hang in there, maybe try to suplement a bottle at nite to get urself some rest.

By the way...........she is absoultely beautiful~~; 2/11/2009 3:41 PM
Becky said...: Some friends of mine just told me that a laundry basket sometimes works!!! Make Harper a little nest in a cozy laundry basket and cross your fingers. It worked for their little girl -- she sleeps like a charm in it!; 2/11/2009 3:41 PM
Donna said...: Kelly, my son was ike that...nursed every hour on the hour for an hour. You learn to do things while nursing. I could cook supper, do laundry, read, while nursing. But enjoy it. There is nothing like having your baby look into your eyes while nursing. Also, my son would wake up when put in his crib. He had been snuggled against a warm body and then put in a cold crib! No way. I fixed that by putting in the heating pad on low for a few minutes to wrm his bed. Helped.But many night I saw everything on TV and we pledged allegiance to the flag at the sign off.(pre-cable). Enjoy every minute. Have you heard Trace Adkins song,"you're gonna miss this"? Very true, and sooner than you think. She is a beauty.
Keeping you in my heart in GA
Donna; 2/11/2009 3:42 PM
Sarah said...: You'll make it! The first weeks at home are so exhausting...hang in there! It always seemed like my newborns went through a period where they would fall asleep and then I would go to lay them down and the screaming would start back up. There is an end to it...you will get to sleep for more than a couple hours at a time. I hope that you get to take those 30 minutes tonight to get out by yourself. Harper looks adorable in her flower band!; 2/11/2009 3:42 PM
Aileigh said...: Mine did that too! We just basically survived and eventually he started sleeping in his bed/crib. Sorry I don't have more advice for ya. Maybe it is her tummy or something.; 2/11/2009 3:42 PM
Stephanie said...: Have you tried laying her on her tummy with the bed slightly elevated with her passy?! Worked wonders for my three angels :); 2/11/2009 3:42 PM
Aleta said...: YES!!! I know just the trick for a fussy baby that wants to be held all the time! A baby sling!!! Google them - there are lots of different types (I personally like the ring slings that are adjustable). Saved my sanity and gave me use of both my hands!! Seriously, these things are lifesavers... and who cares if you are 'holding' your baby all the time - they're only little for a short while!; 2/11/2009 3:43 PM
emilyb said...: Hey Kelly,

Both of my boys (ages 4yrs. and 4 months) were fussy/liked to be held ALOT!! I'll tell you our secret that we could NOT live without- the Baby Bjorn carrier. Both of my boys LOVED it and it would be the only thing that could soothe them if they were having a "spell". At least you can get some things done around the house wearing it with your hands free. Also, my husband would wear it and take them on a walk at night to give me some peace! With my 4 yr. old we lived in Atlanta= mild winter. With my little one, we live in NJ= frigid cold and he still walked at night, just bundling little Cooper up. Anyway, this is my best advice for anyone whose baby likes to be held. And of course, treasure it, because before long this phase will be gone...God Bless!; 2/11/2009 3:43 PM
Andi said...: Hey Kelly. This is Andi, we swapped e-mails a couple of weeks before your precious miracle was born. We had to same 37 weeks stats.
Anyways, for the wanting to be held baby I would FOR SURE get a sling. I have the Maya Sling and Luke L.O.V.E.S. it. You are able to keep them super snug to your body while still having hands free for other things, like patting her bottom or in my case everything from blog commenting to gathering laundy. My motto is there is nothing you can't do while baby wearing.
I am so happy to see her smiling face. What a joy.; 2/11/2009 3:43 PM
Anonymous said...: Well,my daughter who is 14 now was the same way. She was born 7weeks early. And spent time in the NICU,I found she missed all the noises and alarms so I put a c.d. In and she finally would go to sleep. I think they are so used to all the attention and action after being in the NICU. And the other times when the music didn't work and I had to get sleep she would sleep with us.I know you may not want to hear this...but sometimes crying it out is what would happen. I hope you are able to get out. I know what your going through and will pray for a more peaceful night! And for you to get some rest!; 2/11/2009 3:44 PM
Nicole said...: She is beautiful!!!!!!! I am so glad that you guys are home and healthy!

I had an appointment with Emily yesterday and right before I left I told her I saw the picture and she died laughing. I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!; 2/11/2009 3:44 PM
Kristin said...: Kelly,

Your sweet Harper is adorable!! I love the flower :); 2/11/2009 3:44 PM
Sarah said...: I also saw that some people suggested giving her rice cereal and I wanted to tell you to talk this over with your ped. Introducing solids too early can lead to allergies. Newborns digestive systems are also not developed enough to handle soild foods. Talk to your doctor and do what the two of you decide is best.; 2/11/2009 3:44 PM
Melissa said...: Ohhh, I've so been where you are!! My little angel is 7 months now, but (don't panic) the first 4 months of her life were really challenging. I would nurse her all evening (literally! from about 7 until 11:30). At six weeks, I finally took her to my doctor where she was diagnosed with acid reflux. The medicine helped a little, but it really just took her time to grow out of it. Sometimes, it would help to swaddle her in a soft blanket and "swoosh" her. The good (and bad) news is that the time goes by so quickly. Even though the days and nights were so difficult at first, I now have a sweet and charming little lady who sleeps for at least 11 hours at night and takes a couple of naps during the day. You WILL get regular showers again! Hang in there!! You're doing great!; 2/11/2009 3:44 PM
FROGGITY! said...: SHE'S SO CUTE in those headbands!!! :) Harper, you stylin' chick you.; 2/11/2009 3:44 PM
Anonymous said...: Find a pacifier that she likes and put her in the swing.

It will save your life.

Also, double check your diet. Make sure you are eating bland foods.

If it goes on for much longer, talk to your pediatrician about supplementing with formula. Big babies (my daughter was 10 lbs. 10 1/2 oz.!) have big appetites!

You will get through this.

Oh ... also ... if you put her in her carrier on the floor in the bathroom, you can take a shower. The water makes the screaming a little more bearable!; 2/11/2009 3:44 PM
Unknown said...: You crack me up - and I Love the bow, love the flower, love her to death!!! I'm glad she is home and healthy!; 2/11/2009 3:45 PM
Bec:) said...: Hi Kelly,
As a Mum of five children I've learnt that each one is created different for his or her unique purpose. All five of my children were not great sleepers and feed all day and all night.(was very handy for getting that tummy back to size.)Best advice I can give you is not to worry to much about text book standards, as I said they are all different and as her Mummy you will know what works and what doesn't. Trust that in you. God made you a Mummy, He has faith in you.In one years time you could be sleeping soundly or in my case I'm still ironing out some crinkles. There is grace for each day and your doing GREAT!!
Love Bec Harper.; 2/11/2009 3:45 PM
Cody Jean said...: Egan would cry EVERY night. All my husband ever saw was the crying version of his baby. I can so empathize. No suggestions, but we'll pray.

Thank God for great friends!; 2/11/2009 3:46 PM
Unknown said...: Kelly - My baby was born the 20th. She is also non-stop eating like crazy! Sometimes I feel like a human pacifier. To go to the bathroom I had to take my bouncy seat just so I could go...We are gaining weight though, and that's what matters! I am reading an awesome breastfeeding book - Breastfeeding Made simple...which I find isn't so simple at times...my little one also stopped taking a paci, so I'm it! I find that swaddling at night has really helped us sleep more sound even though she hates it! Good Luck! Keep your laptop close while feeding, typing with one hand is slow, but it keeps me occupied at times!
Sarah from Texas; 2/11/2009 3:46 PM
Anonymous said...: miracle blanket worked well for us. don't give it up yet. swaddle her nice and tight, even though she might fuss, and try some white noise while swaddled. my sister always used her vent hood, or you can get a sleep maching for about $20 if you want to do it in her room. does she take a passy? keep trying even if she doesn't yet. usually b/t the 3 of those, especially together, it helps. and it won't hurt to let her cry for 5 mins on her own, so she can learn to self soothe a little. hurts mommy more but you'll be glad you did :)
one more thing, if you're around and comfortable doing so, you can put her on her tummy for a bit to see if she likes it.; 2/11/2009 3:46 PM
Anonymous said...: My precious baby girl was just the same way - she wanted to nurse and/or be held in our arms 24/7. I decided to just relax and treasure the special time, knowing it wouldn't last forever. Now she's getting big and not near as easy to cuddle, so I'm glad for all those snuggly memories. Relax and be thankful for Daddy's helpfulness when he's home. That is your break for the day ; ); 2/11/2009 3:46 PM
Lisa said...: Sounds like you are one busy Momma. I remember when my son was just a wee baby that I would give anything to have a shower, time to brush my teeth, pump in peace and well it only gets better from here. Wait til you never get to use the restroom by yourself again (lol). Oh, it isn't all that bad... seriously. Enjoy your sweet baby girl; 2/11/2009 3:46 PM
Lydia said...: Kelly~
I promise it gets better....My little girl would NEVER sleep unless I was holding her(even at night). I couldn't get anything done. I promise it gets better.
Are you planning on going back to work?

Lydia; 2/11/2009 3:46 PM
Colleen said...: Oh Kelly she gets more beautiful every single day!

It has been a long time since mine were babies but I remember those first weeks and months. I know it felt like all life had turned into constant crying, feeding, diapers, laundry and trying to do all of that with so little sleep. It can be overwhelming to say the least but those little ones are worth it all. Thankfully you have help. Take it from anyone who will offer! Take a nap every chance you get. Most importantly, make time for yourself. I know that can be difficult but even a bubble bath, a short walk or going to Sonic for your favorite drink will give you a little boost.

Give that sweet baby a kiss from me!; 2/11/2009 3:47 PM
Rebecca said...: Could she be any cuter?? I agree with another commenter - it doesn't even look like she was sick, you'd never know!

I completely understand your feelings about the horrible news all over the place - I just quit watching the TV. I figure, if I REALLY need to know it, it will be in a headline on google news :).; 2/11/2009 3:48 PM
Shelley said...: I went through this with both of mine. My suggestions are pretty much the same. My son had to be swaddled very tightly. I also couldn't have made it without my carrier. You can hold your baby and still use both hands. Also, is she is getting colic, try the happi tummi band. It was great for us. It will get easier. The first six weeks are the hardest. Oh and get out of the house every day. It makes a big difference.; 2/11/2009 3:48 PM
Aimee said...: Hang in there! My daughter was like that, too! Her internal clock is just all turned around, especially since she was in the hospital where she probably couldn't tell day and night with the constant activity around her. I used to tell people that my daughter had colic 24/7...but of course, it does get better, like everyone says. We even took her to the doctor pleading that something had to be wrong with her for her to cry so much and sleep so little and eat what seemed like every hour or more. Thanks be to God that nothing was wrong, we just had to wait it out. I'll say a prayer for you to have the strength and patience - and by all means get the Diet Vanilla Coke from Sonic!

Aimee; 2/11/2009 3:49 PM
Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...: I just love Harper's bows! She is just precious.

They say not to hold a baby so much, but I didn't listen and I felt exactly like you do right now. How can anyone resist holding sweet little babies who want to be held!; 2/11/2009 3:49 PM
Annemarie said...: Do you swaddle? I used a SwaddleMe with my last two babies....ah heaven! And I used BabyWise (some of it) with my last 3. I know there are a lot of folks that don't like that method, but if you use your brain and some of the suggestions, it just might work.

And I hate to disagree with so many wonderful moms....but I remember those days with my first where I could hardly keep my eyes open and every time I laid down to sleep, 40 minutes later he was crying and it was actually painful to get up. I remember it like it was yesterday. Ouch.

Praying that you get some sleep soon!!!!

~Annemarie; 2/11/2009 3:50 PM
Anonymous said...: I just found your blog today and I am so excited. I love it and enjoy reading about your family. Isnt family the best? Especially when we are blessed with wonderful husbands! Can't wait to visit again!; 2/11/2009 3:51 PM
QB said...: kelly, Harper is the cutest little girl. Maybe she's making up for the first 3 weeks. She slept most of time so she's rested up and ready to go. My son who is now 14 never slept for more than 2 hours at a time for the first 3 years of his life. I was a bear! Good luck, and rest when you can. Don't worry about the house or anything else. Just rest.; 2/11/2009 3:51 PM
Kayce said...: Try buying a medicine ball . . . you know, the thing people use for exercise? My BFF's baby was list Harper for a little while and they would sit on the medicine ball and bounce him and he would instantly calm down! I even used it a few times when babysitting him. You never know . . . it might work! = ); 2/11/2009 3:51 PM
Shelly, OTA in training said...: Harper is gorgeous! I've been reading your blog for a while and I also went to OBU. My husband Nathan grew up in Magnolia and knows of Scott.
We have 3 now - a 3 year old and twin 4 month olds. They are little miracle babies too.
My advice is just that it gets better really quickly (I know it seems like forever!) My first one took an hour each time to nurse and I complained then started to realize how nice it was. I just watched TV while she ate and relaxed and kinda missed it when she got faster. Swaddling works best for us. Good luck!; 2/11/2009 3:51 PM
Shelley said...: My daughter was the same way. Must be a girl thing because my son was so much easier when he was a baby! He loved his swing so we were very disappointed when Lucy decided she hated it. I felt like I spent the first 3 months of her life with her attached to me. She nursed constantly and didn't nap unless I was holding her (and for a while not even then). No one believed that a baby so small could go on so little sleep. I learned to type very efficiently with one hand. I didn't read through the other suggestions but maybe try a sling or carrier of some sort. Lucy loved being close to me and being able to look up and see me. At least you can get a few things done. We have a Laz Z Boy rocker recliner in the nursery so many times I fell asleep while nursing her. Best investment ever! Lucy is now 8 months old and she takes 2 naps a day in her crib and sleeps all night long so there is an end to the constant nursing and no sleep! I think it's great that you're getting out of the house even if it's just for a short time. That's so important and so many of us forget that!; 2/11/2009 3:53 PM
christina-defining moments said...: With preemies or babies who spent a lot of time in nicu, they tend to be a bit fussier. They missed that close secure feeling of the womb and weren't able to be held much at first. Just hold her as much as you can and she should feel better about being let down in a little while. It does get hard when you have something you need to do but it won't last forever. I have never heard a mom say she wished she had not held her baby so much. Enjoy it while you can. She is absolutely beautiful! ( I wasn't trying to be mean or make you feel bad I hope it didn't come across that way!); 2/11/2009 3:53 PM
Tanya said...: Swaddling
Pacifier (won't hurt your nursing)
Babywearing!! (We love the Peanut Shell microfleece slings)
Read 'Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby' by Marc Weisbluth.
Accept all the help your offered and let the housework and thank you notes go right now.
It will get easier but it will take time. Your not alone! :); 2/11/2009 3:54 PM
Susan said...: Kelly...you don't know me and I don't know you, but I've been following your story since right after Harper was born. I have prayed that she would be okay and have been so happy to hear that she has been watched over. I even feel that some of your prayers for your daughter and those other sick babies has rubbed off and helped another friend of mine whose daughter was born around the same time as Harper...and is still sick in the hospital. We're hoping she'll be home soon!

Anyway, you asked for advice. With my second, I found that Happiest Baby on the Block (book or DVD) was a lifesaver. It helped me understand her and what she was feeling and gave me GREAT advice on how to help her. She made a 180 in attitude once we understood how to make her feel better! Good luck.; 2/11/2009 3:54 PM
heidi yates said...: i went to obu... i was an EEE and i think Harper wants to pledge E from her picture! sooo kidding.
anyway, i had a preemie NICU baby too and then breastfed. Jackson just turned 1 and it really does get better! is she gaining weight appropriately? if so then just do as your doing it may be a growth spurt like you said. is she raring(sp?) her head back when nursing? if so she could have reflux. Jackson had (and still has) reflux and cried ALL the time unless i was holding him. then i finally figured out what it was. it is such a guessing game for so long Kelly! good luck...; 2/11/2009 3:56 PM
Unknown said...: Hey girl my oldest son loved the hair dryer so you might try that for the fussiness or the sound of the shower running. Hope it helps, she get more beautiful every day! God Bless!; 2/11/2009 3:56 PM
Jen said...: From the "Baby Whisper" Book.....

Babies ALWAYS yawn 3 times when they are getting sleepy. If you can get them to sleep or better yet, let them fall asleep on their own(it's okay for them to fuss) by the 3rd yawn, you will NEVER have on over stimulated exhausted baby!!! Saved my sanity when my three where infants!!! Just watch her and try it....you will be amazed!!

Good luck and hang in there....enjoy it and remember "this too shall pass"!

Love,
Jen; 2/11/2009 3:56 PM
Kelli said...: Sooooooo precious! Pics of Harper make my day. :); 2/11/2009 3:56 PM
Wendy said...: I know what it's like to have days where you feel like you're more a cow than a mom! My little girl loved her Sweet Peace swing and it gave me many a chance to eat or just relax for a few moments. It's a bit expensive but well worth it and even kept her sleeping after car rides since we had the Graco carrier/car seat. I hope you get your Sonic time because it's nice to get out of the house for just a few minutes.

http://www.mysweetpeace.com/?uID=Frey3; 2/11/2009 3:56 PM
Mary said...: A few suggestions--I've had two kids, but I'm no expert! My first had reflux, so he cried before he ate because he was hungry and after he ate because his throat hurt from the acid. One suggestion is to watch if she arches her back after feedings??? If so she might be in a little pain from reflux. There are meds that help a TON. Other than that, I would find something you feel comfortable carrying her in and try to lull her to sleep ON you. I know it's impossible to shower/cook like this, but I'm a big fan of them not crying. :) Also, if you've eaten salad or something else that can be hard on her tummy, try not to for a few days and see if that helps her settle in better. I didn't eat salad for the first like three months--long time I know but like I said, fan of them not crying--made a huge difference for both kids. The gas they can have can keep them up forever. Also limit beans, tomatoes, and green veggies in general. Basically eat a comfort food diet :); 2/11/2009 3:57 PM
petrii said...: Poor thing!!! I remember the screaming baby days. They do pass sweet one. The riding in the car all strapped in nice and tidy in the car seat worked for me after about 15-20 mins of driving he finally fell asleep. Bliss.

She is just adorable. Enjoy that 30 mins of stamps and sonic.

Have a Blessed evening,
Dawn; 2/11/2009 3:57 PM
Annelies said...: Yes.....I had the baby that required NO sleep. He is going to turn 32 in two weeks, and you know what? I would do it ALL over again!!!! Hang in there, it does get better. But even though it was SOOOO long ago, I remember the sheer joy of having a shower and the blessing of my Mom coming to lend a hand. Hug your little one close....time has a way of flying by TOOOO fast. XXX Annelies; 2/11/2009 3:57 PM
Marty Alexander said...: Hi Kelly.

I have been following your journey from the day that you went in to have your beautiful little lump. God has been so good to you and I am so happy for you! My heart goes out to you with a newborn and feeling lost and unsure of yourself. The questioning of one's decisions goes into overdrive when you have someone else that you are responsible for. I so get that. When you posted about her crying the other day and not sleeping, I almost commented to you then, but didn't, and then when you asked for help today, I felt like I had to tell you what helped me. It is a book called Baby Wise. It is the greatest get your baby to sleep and help me not lose my mind book under the sun. It is a FANTASTIC book, and I am telling you it works! The first days are hard, especially since it will be a change of what she is accustomed to, but their little bodies truly crave a schedule and when given the opportunity, they become great babies! My biggest fear was having a baby that took over our lives, and we lost ourselves and eventually have a 8 year old that thinks it needs to sleep in the bed with us. That may be cool for some people, but the thought of thought makes me want to run for the hills. :) So, when I was pregnant with our first I heard about this book, read it, and committed to doing it. I feel like it lays the foundation for a child that is self sufficient. Everyone that I know that has tried Baby Wise and stuck with it has loved it, and preaches it every where they go! I am telling you, if you read the book and commit to the Baby Wise philosophy it will be the hardest thing you have ever done initially, but it will work and it will change your life! :) And you will finally get some sleep! Hip Hip Hooray for sleep! Please email me if you have any other questions. Blessings my blogland friend!

Marty; 2/11/2009 3:57 PM
Jennifer said...: Yay Harper!!Of course she wants to be an E! You tell that sweet baby I can send her all kinds of red and black things if she gets tired of pink and green!;)Plus, you know we love those big red bows, and Harper would be so cute in one!:)

Growth spurts are AWFUL! I promise to pray that the rest of your week goes a little better. I'm soooo glad you are going to try and get out tonight. You might want to make it a Route 44!!; 2/11/2009 3:58 PM
Unknown said...: Hey Kelly,

I'll chime in with my 2 cents, because I TOTALLY know how you feel. My little guy was the same way and I stressed about it day and night in the beginning. If I could do it again, I would focus on the fact that it's not always going to be this way, and it's hard, so hard, but it gets better with time. It's so hard to focus on that when you're in it and so tired, but my girlfriends and I call this the "trenches" and eventually you dig yourself out of them. My little guy didn't change when I started giving him cereal, so that doesn't always work. He cried AS SOON as we laid him down and it was so hard to let him cry. I think that babies can get spoiled that early, so you can either let her cry and walk out (which I couldn't do) or you can just keep holding her until it gets better (around 11-12 weeks usually). The baby Bjorn helped a little with my guy - and I tried the Swoosh method or something like that, and the swing and the swaddling...and on and on...and drops for his tummy...and I switched to formula because I thought it was something wrong with me...but nothing worked but time. Just hang in there and focus on the fact that it isn't always going to be this way (because I kept thinking, OMG, is this what my life is going to be like?) but it doesn't get better - 100% better!; 2/11/2009 3:58 PM
giraffegirl524 said...: have you tried putting some blankets on the floor and laying her on her back or belly or side? she might like that. i hate to hear you're having a rough time! i hope she feels better soon! still praying for you!; 2/11/2009 4:00 PM
Anonymous said...: Your baby Harper is so precious. I stumbled upon your blog shortly after Harper was born and now have to check in daily! What a wonderful family and inspiration to everyone!

I have a 10 month old and I remember those days of pretty much nursing nonstop. Some days it felt like he would eat literally 22 hours a day! I'm also one of those who can't stand to let a baby cry, so there were days I held him for what seemed like all day long. With time, they start sleeping better and nursing less often, and it's amazing how you just get used to much less sleep. We co-sleep too (although it is not for everyone) but I find that it helps tremendously when you nurse and it allows mom to get some rest too.

It is so cliche, but time flies by so enjoy every minute of it! Some of my favorite times still (even in the wee hours of the morning) are holding and nursing my sweet baby. It doesn't get much better than that!; 2/11/2009 4:00 PM
Emily said...: Oh my sweet, I feel your pain. The first couple weeks home is so very hard. I have a five month old and remember the first couple weeks out of NICU completely. My little one liked none of the calming gadgets either and only wanted to be held and feed as well. It doesn't help that you are tired and still in pain (top and bottom) I know. However, it will pass and she will be that happy baby sooner then you think...but not soon enough. My only advice is to take some time for yourself away from her. Even though you don't want to, you need to. I hated doing this but you can let her scream in her crib for a while and sometimes you just need to in order to get that shower in. She will be fine, it hurts you more then her. And I know you are giving me a dirty look right now but I speak the truth =). Truely the turning point for us was when I would put her down for naps on her belly...I know I know you aren't suppose to do that but that is the only way she would sleep and apparently sleep is what she needed. You will find the magic trick for Harper and all will be good. Until then blessings to you!!!!; 2/11/2009 4:01 PM
Anonymous said...: She is precious! The same thing happened with my second baby (crying and fussy all the time, not sleeping much...) and come to find out he was not getting enough milk while nursing. He latched on fine and seemed to be nursing but it turned out he was not getting much milk at all. I felt so terrible when I figured this out. I had to switch to bottle feeding and he was much, much better.

Take care and I hope you get some good sleep soon!; 2/11/2009 4:01 PM
Anneliese said...: Sounds like you are getting a lot of feedback. Thank you for sharing your miracle with so many people. It really touched my heart knowing how many people have supported you and your family. What a wonderful testimony. I am so happy for you!
As for the sleeping and feeding. It sounds like a growth spurt. It feels like all you do is feed them and change their diapers. It is not the funnest of time. It passes so quick.
Some helpful tips that worked for us..
1. Feed on demand for now
2. Keep things dark, relaxing and quiet at bedtime. (she has nights and days mixed up..prob even more so since she was in hospital.)
3. Make sure to allow naps during the day. No more then 1-2 hours awake. They get over sleepy
4. Swaddling helped us a lot. Get a good one. We used a Swaddle Me.
5. Use noise in room at night and make sure it is dark.
6. Put baby in crib ASAP, if you hav'nt already. We tried to allow baby in room. It only kept us and baby up. Use a monitor to keep tabs on baby.
Hope this helps a little and hang in there. Our baby was sleeping 6-7 hours by 6 weeks. He is now up to 10 hours. I still get up to pump to keep milk supply up. Make sure you take care of yourself and get out of the house. God Bless; 2/11/2009 4:01 PM
Anonymous said...: I have been following your blog for about three weeks and just want to let you know that Harper has been in my prayers non stop. She is so beautiful! As for the sleeping thing...my youngest was like that. Come to find out months later he had a milk allergy. Did you try taking milk/dairy out of your diet. It helped my little one sleep a little bit better. Hope this is helpful. I am so glad that I came across your blog...I look forward to your updates, it is just a reminder of how great God is!!; 2/11/2009 4:02 PM
Paula said...: Hi Kelly-
I've been a lurker for awhile-love your blog:) If nothing seems to help and if you think she's having tummy problems, you may try to cut down on the dairy products in YOUR diet. Both my kids were intolerant to milk (cheese, butter, etc). and if I ate any while breastfeeding them, they would scream for hours. Just an idea....its actually pretty common among breastfed babies.
google "milk intolerance in breastfed baby" or something similar.
But she's probably just going thru an adjustment stage. Hang in there...it DOES get easier, I promise.; 2/11/2009 4:03 PM
Becky said...: I stumbled across your blog recently and am humbled by your "voice", the depth of your compassion and your understanding of the true meaning of love. On the no-sleep front (and I know you're getting tons of advice) I always considered the first 10-12 weeks "survival" weeks. You just have to feed them when they're hungry and let them sleep when they need to sleep and totally sacrifice yourself during those weeks. But then around 12-14 lbs - they have the physiological ability to sleep through the night and you slowly train the baby and yourself that fist week (ie: sit at the door and listen to them wail themselves to sleep)...trust me - both my kids have slept 12 hours a night since they were two months old and now they're almost two and four. I normally don't comment on other people's blogs that I don't know - but I thought you could do with a some hope in the midst of sleeplessness/showerlessness. I think anyone can survive anything - it just helps knowing there's an end date. Good luck. bb; 2/11/2009 4:03 PM
Gill said...: Hey Kudos to Scott - he gets 10 out of 10 for being a TOP Daddy! Your friend is one in a million ;) And Harper is a doll! As for the non sleeping / crying..that's just to amke you appreciate the peace when it finally comes :D
Does she have a paci? Some moms are aginst them but i am a strong advocate - all three had them and all three have great teeth and speak eloquently so no issues caused by theirs!
And hey you know what? The chores aren't going anywhere, who really needs their clothes ironed...snuggle up with your precious baby and hopefully she will settle soon enough. She's been through a lot and she is now catching up with herself ;)
Wishing you all the best and at least 5 hours straight sleep for Mommy please Harper :D xxxx; 2/11/2009 4:03 PM
Anonymous said...: My first child wouldn't sleep and it was very hard. But you know what I've learned from having kiddo's? Nothing lasts forever. They WILL start sleeping thru the night---they WILL grow up and before you know it...BAM they are starting Kindergarten! It may feel that right now, you are a little "trapped" in a "never getting any sleep" situation. But that will come to and end and you'll look back and think--WOW, that really wasn't that bad. In my case only about 4 months out of my life. Not a huge amount of time at all! Hang in there -- your little Harper is beautiful. Congrats on everything! Amy P. Norman OK; 2/11/2009 4:04 PM
Anonymous said...: I've been there!! My 9 month old was a screamer for about the first 6 weeks. The only thing that worked for us was running the vacuum cleaner. It sounds crazy, but the noise would put her right to sleep. We also couldn't have lived without our swing or swaddle blankets (not the miracle blanket though, for some reason it didn't work for us). Those first few weeks can be rough, but it does get easier. Hang in there!!; 2/11/2009 4:04 PM
Anonymous said...: My first born would eat no stop for the first several weeks and then he would eat like crazy during growth spurts. I alwys nursed "on demand". Even if it wasn't feeding time, if nothing else would work, I would nurse. I had an awesome milk supply.

Do you ever give her Mylicon? She may have a little gas, that can make them fussy and want to eat.

I know whatever it is, the Lord will speak to you and tell you what she needs.

Love and Prayers,
Holly in OKC; 2/11/2009 4:04 PM
Anonymous said...: My daughter was just like that. It lasted a month + It wasn't until after it passed that it occured to me it was colic. There really is nothing to do. It gets really annoying. I know you just had a huge miracle but crying gets to anyone. Just hang in there. There is NO way you can spoil a baby. Hold her as much as you want but it's also OK to take a shower, dry your hair. She will be just fine.
She might LIKE the noise of a vacuum, hair dryer, shower...apparently the wombis a noisy place & those sounds simulate it. Sometimes the bouscy seat swing etc can be over stimulating. My daughter hated everything except ME holding her.
Take breaks. We are all here for you!! xoxo :); 2/11/2009 4:05 PM
Anonymous said...: ADVICE

My little one who will be three on the 25th, was very fussy, while my first two who are 19 and 16 were sweet as pie. After weeks of trying everything, we found the cure was to take her outside. WE decided ahe had some sort of indoor only colic..lol. So, every tme there was a scrap of sunshine we went out on our porch and she stopped crying immediately. Thsi worked every time, she just has to be in the outdoors, fixes her right up. I hope the weather permits you to give it a try! If ony for a few moments, it might get her out of that crying rut.
Blessings,
Penny; 2/11/2009 4:07 PM
Becky said...: Okay - I just glanced at your post and need to post again - because someone else said it as well (i have to push anything specific) - but the book babywise is what we used as well. we're now using the toddlerwise book - it works. it's tough, you have to reference it a lot, you have to be flexible and make it work for you - but seriously - if you can be strong enough and get through a few minutes of crying - it will save your life. and trust me - eventually it becomes such a routine - my little girl looks at me as I'm laying her down and say "night-night" and blows me a kiss and I turn off the light and walk out of the room - she's that used to putting herself to sleep. anyhoo - babywise (amazing!). bb; 2/11/2009 4:07 PM
Ashley McWhorter said...: I am typing one handed, too, while nursing my 2 month old baby boy.:) He is my 3rd child. I have 2 girls and him. Anyway, I have had all types of personalities with these 3 kiddos. Some of my number one things for fussiness, are:

-GAS medicine (by the walmart off brand...Equate...so much cheaper)
-Gripe Water (found at drug stores next to the gas medicine)
-don't be afraid to use formula every now and then if you don't have time to pump. Momma needs a break.:) It will do everyone good and it might hold Harper over longer. I have nursed all of my babies for at least a year, but this was a great trick and very helpful in stressed our times.
-For naps during the day, lay her on her stomach to sleep. That way you can watch her, unlike night time. Mine have slept so much better on there stomachs
-Most importantly, get out of the house. Even if it is just for a drive to Sonic or the store. Splurge and go get a pedi or something. You'll be amazed at what it does for a new mommy!

This is all I can think of for now!

I know we don't personally know one another, but being a mom to a two month old, I can totally relate to you right now. Us mommies have to stick together. :) Please feel free to email me anytime of day or night. We are up at all hours. :)
ashle9@hotmail.com

Blessings,
Ashley from TX; 2/11/2009 4:07 PM
Jody said...: My daughter was the same way - unfortunatley she never seemed to outgrow it! She was just a baby that never seemed to sleep. I would set her in the bouncy seat in the bathroom with my while the shower ran - she did seem to like that. Also have you tried to put her to sleep on her tummy (I know you're not supposed to) it worked for my two oldest.

Hang in there!; 2/11/2009 4:07 PM
Anonymous said...: No more hats on your baby! She is much cuter without them!; 2/11/2009 4:08 PM
Barkley said...: My daughter just turned 1 on Feb. 3rd. At that age, she was best when she was swaddled (yes, in the ugly hospital blanket because they swaddle the best) and in her papasan swing. Hope that helps :) BTW, she's adorable; 2/11/2009 4:08 PM
Laurie said...: OH I LOVE that shirt! and..the bows and flower! CUTE CUTE. You are doing everything right....babies at that age just cry -A LOT!; 2/11/2009 4:09 PM
Hyperactive Lu said...: I've never commented before, but I've been reading your blog for a few months now. I am so thankful that Harper is doing so well and that y'all are home.

I gave birth to my 2nd son in December 07 and he ate EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR. My word. I felt like a constant feeding machine. It was miserable. I slept on the couch and just fed while I cat napped. Anyway. The only way I made it through was with a sling. You can find all types. If you have questions or need suggestions, email me. I'd love to help. Stephanie from Adventures in Babywearing has fabulous links and suggestions in her blog too. :)

Good luck! It will pass!!!; 2/11/2009 4:09 PM
The Mama said...: Hi Kelly,
My middle daughter was quite high maintence. We were at a complete loss as to what to do because our first born was typical about everything. We just kept trying until we figured out what she liked. One thing that worked: sitting on an exercise ball, bouncing up and down in front of the t.v. (that was on), holding her in the airplane position--let me know if you need help figuring out that position. Anyway, no one's advice would have ever told me that, but it worked for our girl. She also slept on her belly on daddy's chest almost everynight. That was just about the only spot she'd sleep at night. It turned out she had "colic" and it went away around 8 mos. I figured out that my breast milk was making her tummy hurt around 3 mos. We then tried every formula out there and none worked. Took her to the doctor who put her on nutramagin around 4 mos. Took her to a children's hospital at 6mos where they diagnosed her with colic and told us to try the orange can of Good Start. This worked and was cheaper than the nutramagen we'd had her on. Another positon that might help is holding her legs in both your hands while you have her back up against your chest. Lift her legs- this will help release gas. Hope something works for you.; 2/11/2009 4:09 PM
Dan and Sarah said...: I just attempted to read through all the comments to see if anyone else has said this but I have two little ones so I didn't have time. Hee hee.

Two thoughts....read Happiest Baby on the Block. It has tons of tips for screaming newborns to help them sleep. Worked wonders for us with both kids!! The swaddling will work, sometimes you have to wrap them up and still let them fuss for a few and then they'll calm down.

Also, reflux is also worth a look. is the screaming worse right after she eats? Or when she is flat? Google reflux symptoms in infants and you'll see a good list you can compare her behavior to.

Hang in there. you will make it!! :); 2/11/2009 4:10 PM
Danyele Easterhaus said...: my sof was and is the same way. i blame the NICU...jokingly of course; 2/11/2009 4:10 PM
King J's Queen said...: HI! We had similar problems with our daughter. She had (has) reflux. Almost all newborns have a touch of it, and it isn't a problem unless it bothers the baby, such as excessive crying. So many have already touched on tummy issues, so I won't repeat.

Trust your instincts! You know her better than anyone. If she is crying more than three hours a day, talk to her pediatrician. It will help if you keep notes on how long/strong she is crying. At this age, parental concerns are often dismissed as "colic" or just being a new parent.

We continue to pray for your family!; 2/11/2009 4:11 PM
Melanie Keffer said...: Kelly, you don't know me, I am a friend of Sara Campbell. I have enjoyed reading your blog since Sara asked everyone to pray for Harper. First, what a beautiful little girl!

Second - My oldest daughter is 22 and was like Harper. After four kids, I learned things that I didn't know with the first.

Reason for not sleeping well and crying could be not satisfied. Some babies, especially big ones like you had and like I had, need more than just milk. I am not suggesting baby food per say, but I added a little baby cereal to Kathleen's bottle and that helped (They make nipples for that.) Another reason is the milk doesn't set well with her, but that should not be your case since you are breast feeding.

AND last but not least, looking back on it now, that was just the way my daughter was. What I did was adjust to her schedule and sleep when she did. I notice someone else mentioned that. IT WORKS. You and dad take turns during the awake hours and SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP when she sleeps.

That is all I can tell you. God bless you. When you get some rest, it will work smoother. You will be the one to adjust . . . not Harper! Ha!

Melanie Keffer
Olive Branch, MS; 2/11/2009 4:12 PM
Anonymous said...: My oldest girl did exactly that, she wanted to nurse all the time and cried and cried... we tried a bottle of formula and it was UNBELIEVABLE the difference... she slept 4 hours!!! guess my milk wasn't enough.; 2/11/2009 4:12 PM
Anonymous said...: i have read your blog for a while now and am so glad that your harper is doing so well now. however i do know how hard a constantly crying newborn can be. my first one cried a lot and she enden up having "silent reflux". she rarely spit up, but the acid in her stomach would come back up so it was hard to diagnose. she HATED her car seat most of all. so we finally got her on zantac and that helped a lot. she was always high maintaince, but she finally stopped screaming so much. it made me so sad to know she was in pain that whole time and i didn't know it. hang in there. it will get better but when you are in the middle of it it is very stressful.; 2/11/2009 4:13 PM
Mrs. Everything said...: My daughter was like that too! I felt like she was attached to me. One thing that helped TREMENDOUSLY... put her in the bath tub with you and let her "float". I think it helped her relax... whether it was her tummy or whatever. Our water bill was the highest it had ever been, but she was happy!

Blessings to you!
Courtney; 2/11/2009 4:14 PM
Katelyn and Dustin said...: hi Kelly, don't know ya but I was directed to your blog to pray. I am kinda close to you in SHreveport! Anyway, chances are you have received so much advice you won't get to mine but if you do, I had a very "colicky"/fussy baby. She's 10 months now. I didn't have too much trouble with ehr wanting to eat all the time (she's itty bitty) but she screamed and screamed and screamed! With breastfeeding...once I really reduced caffeine (as in coke and chocoalte) I saw immediate results. Some other things that worked for me: little tummy's for gas, she would like suck scream suck scream and spit up etc...doc put her on reflux medicine, but took two trys to work..prevacid was the one that worked "somewhat". After 3 months of breast milk, began supplementing with formula and although i was so against it, thickening it with rice was the BEST thing that I ever did. I saw immediate results. I didn't use too much rice, but just enough to keep it down! Also, regular formula didn;t work..used Alimentum for 2 months and then finally EnfamilGentlease. She slept in a cradle swing and then carseat with a big comfy blanket in it for almost 4 months. Sometimes there little systems just need to mature and they may have either reflux or milk protein sensitivity. She got much better after about 3.5 months:); 2/11/2009 4:14 PM
The Baby Makes 4 said...: I used to think, "How can one little girl take up soooo much of my time?!?" I didn't shower, change my clothes or pee until hubby got home at night with my first. She NEVER slept except with me in bed. We read all the books and she didn't like any of the techniques to get her to sleep in her own crib, etc. After having two girls now, I know it is all related to her personality and not our "lack" of parenting that made her so clingy. Our second is a textbook sleeper. We haven't changed.

So, overall, be encouraged that if all you got done in the day is keep that little one fed and alive, that is a pretty good thing. There will be days ahead when you can shower and have a quiet moment to yourself. To everything there is a season! Cheers to motherhood...there is nothing like it on earth!; 2/11/2009 4:14 PM
Julee said...: I am with Jennifer on E situation... we have plenty of red and black for Harper! :) That is such a cute tri chi shirt though! Glad you are back home and I have no advice about a crying baby but I would just enjoy holding her since she will be too big to hold one day! I will still pray that she gets some sleep soon.Have a great day!; 2/11/2009 4:16 PM
jennypilgrim said...: Miss Harper is just making up for lost time. She wants to be held for all those hours she missed while hooked to all the tubes. She will settle down soon.; 2/11/2009 4:16 PM
Mrs. Everything said...: Also, have you tried giving her Mylicon? Her little tummy might be hurting. I had to cut out dairy and still give Payton Mylicon, but it helped a ton!

I also forgot to mention that Payton wasn't a fan of any of the "tried and trues" either. She slept on our chests for the first 3 months of her life.; 2/11/2009 4:16 PM
Ronda said...: I'm just two weeks shy of having my twins, but one of the best books I've been told to read is Babywise. I've heard it's wonderful, and it really has given me a confidence that I can do this whole feeding/sleeping/infant thing. The book is written by Christians as well. Just a thought...; 2/11/2009 4:18 PM
Anonymous said...: What a sweet girlie! Our son ended up back in the hospital due to the flu at 5 weeks. After that, I felt like he got much more high-maintenance for a bit. I think it was because in the hospital, any time he fussed, there was ALWAYS someone who could pick him up. They didn't want him to cry at all. He got home and suddenly he had just a mom who needed to eat or potty or tend to big brother! It was stressful...plus, I worried about him getting sick again, getting stressed out. I tried to just BE with what was going on. He needed to nurse, so I spent days and days on the couch. He didn't care if I had showered. Ask your friends for help in specific ways: "Hey, could you bring me a sandwich from X today?" or "Could you come hold H for a half hour sometime this afternoon so that I can take a quick shower?" I've found that asking people for something small and specific is easier than just saying, "Sure, I'd like help...." and then they don't know how to best help and they worry about inconveniencing you even more!

Hugs...it gets better!
Nieka; 2/11/2009 4:18 PM
Lisa said...: OMG she is PRECIOUS!!!!! I'm a big fan of the BIG bows with my daughter so you know I am lovin Harper's bows, SO CUTE!; 2/11/2009 4:20 PM
Miss E said...: Oh Kelly, the pics of Harper make me laugh! She is the cutest little girl - in the cutest outfits/accessories - and sometimes she has the most peeved expression :) Oh little girls...

I'm so happy that you all are doing well (albeit exhausted!).

So happy to follow your family's amazing story...; 2/11/2009 4:20 PM
Sunni at The Flying Mum said...: OH YES! Ava was the same way! Clara is a much easier baby, but Ava was HIGH MAINTENANCE. I think what helped us was getting a nighttime routine at some point. Bath, lotion, feed, rock, then down for the "night." And at some point she was less fussy, and would sleep. Hang in there...it gets easier!!! Some babies are just fussier than others.; 2/11/2009 4:22 PM
Anonymous said...: In my experience with friends who bottle fed, breast fed babies seem to fuss more - part of it seems to be because they don't fill up as well when they constantly nurse, and the other is that they always associate the mother with being fed. You actually smell of milk to her. My daughter did well when my husband took her up on his shoulder and walked around outside (it was summer) while I got some things done like fixing dinner. She fussed more with me.

Car rides were miraculous - she could sleep for three hours in the car, but maybe only 20 minutes in her crib. Also going for a walk being pushed in her carriage helped a lot.; 2/11/2009 4:22 PM
Anonymous said...: im probably repeating what others have wrote, but my daughter was/is high maintenance too! When she was that around 1 mth old she would nurse every 45 minutes. She would only nap for 10 minutes at a time. At night 3 hours at a time. All the advice I can give is to swaddle her while she is sleeping and continue what you are doing. That is all you can do. My daughter initially didnt like swings, bouncies, etc. either. It will get easier, promise. Around the 3 month mark you probably will have an every 3 hour nursing, she will be napping and sleeping on some kind of schedule. I think the best is to try to create a rigid schedule that you stick to regardless of what arises. That is what works best for us. Babies will know what to expect next. Also, I would recommend the Babywise book. yes, it is controversial, but it works and your the parent. You should control the home and you will get sleep. We all need sleep in order to be a better mom =) My daughter and I co-slept until she was 4mths and then she was moved to her crib in her room and started sleeping 7-7. I know what everyone says about co-sleeping, but you got to do what is best for you and your family. All in all, no one can give you advice for Harper. You will learn what is best specifically for her! Good luck and enjoy it, before you know it she will be 1 yr old!; 2/11/2009 4:22 PM
Mrs. M said...: My daughter was a lot like that. Had to hold her A LOT. Which meant holding my bladder A LOT. She slept fine if she slept on me, but move her to the bouncy or her bed and she'd wake up pretty fast. Hopefully it will get better as she gets older, but just keep trying. She eventually got better about using the swing. Good Luck!; 2/11/2009 4:22 PM
Anonymous said...: My oldest daughter (of four) never slept and ate constantly. I remember reading that babies slept in between each nursing but mine never took naps and nighttime was a nightmare. She is now 27 and she had sleeping issues her whole life. With the next three kids we had a "family bed"....it was the best decision we ever made. I don't know if it would have worked with her but the others slept great in our bed with us. I know that is not for everyone but it saved my sanity! My daughter now has a three year old daughter of her own who won't sleep either! I always hoped she would get to experience what I did all those years ago. Payback time! Good luck with your little love....remember it does go by really really fast.
kathleen; 2/11/2009 4:22 PM
Unknown said...: Hi Kelly
One of my boys seemed like all he wanted to do was eat/nurse when he was a newborn! I later found out that he really needs physical contact. When I stopped nursing, he would give me big hugs especially before baths without his shirt on. Maybe try some skin-on-skin time? Good luck!
Heather; 2/11/2009 4:23 PM
Mrs. H said...: Your friend Kacy is the kind of friend I am learning to be. After recently losing my grandfather, I realized what makes a "good" friend and now make an effort to be a "kacy". That is my goal!

As for the crying baby...I was once told that a baby never died crying! And when I had my first I tried EVERYTHING to make her happy because I didn't want her to cry.

Then baby #2 & #3 came along and if they weren't hungry, wet, hurting, etc and I still couldn't calm them down I placed them in their crib, lights out with soothing music. Sometimes they need alittle time alone too! I also read Babywise which was a huge help the 2nd and 3rd time around!

Just my little 2cents! It gets easier! I promise! You have such a gorgeous family! Bless you!; 2/11/2009 4:24 PM
Emily said...: Kelly,
I have been following your blog and praying for your sweet family. Your entry reminded me so much of my feelings after having my son two years ago. I remember going to a MOPS meeting and asking my friends, "When do you take a shower???" I was so tired and so overwhelmed. I remember going through a drive though with a screaming infant in the backseat just to get out of my house. Since I didn't want to take my screaming child inside the restaurant, I sat in the parking lot and ate my meal. As I sat there, a family with three children walked by my car. I remember thinking, "Why would anyone have more than one child after going through this?!!" It was so difficult those first two months.

A couple of things that worked for me - I called my mom and asked her to come back and help me! If I have another one, I have already told her that she has to come live with me for six weeks. It was just nice to have someone around who had been there/ done that, and who I trusted with my son's life! So ask for help so you can get that shower!

I also talked to my doctor about drugs - not for the baby - for me! This is not for everyone, but I realized that I was struggling with some extreme anxiety over bringing a new life into this world and thought that I was going to mess everything up. A little pill changed everything!!! I was able to enjoy the experience instead of feeling anxiety about everything.

It has almost been three years, and I want another baby! I can barely remember the moments of thinking... why does anyone have children if it is this hard? Instead, it became the most rewarding, powerful thing I have ever been a part of.

P.S. I want a friend like your Kacy, and I want to be that kind of friend!

I am praying for you!; 2/11/2009 4:24 PM
Shawn said...: My youngest was a bit, shall I say, finicky!

As odd as this is going to sound sometimes the only way I could her to sleep was to float her around in the pool. I would then transfer a sleeping and somewhat pruned baby to her crib. I know the pool is not an option this time of year but maybe try floating her in the tub, all the summer stuff is already out at Target. I know it seems out there but when your sleep deprived you'll try about anything.

She looks healthy and of course she is absolutely beautiful!

You're doing a good job Mommy~don't worry!; 2/11/2009 4:25 PM
Jennifer said...: You poor thing! I understand the no sleep phase. It stinks!; 2/11/2009 4:25 PM
Anonymous said...: My two only wanted to be held for the first little while. I just held them a lot. I thought I would be doing it forever with my first, but it really wasn't for that long. I made sure to swaddle them real good and they would sometimes sleep in their carseat carrier that way. The first few months are just a little rough and then they get used to things and so do you.
Good luck to you. You're doing great!!; 2/11/2009 4:25 PM
Frances said...: Love the Tri Chi shirt, even though I was independant at OBU. Most of my friends were Chi Delta though. Don't hate me!!

What worked for my Anna was swaddling her and having her listen to the sounds of the ocean on a sound machine. The doc said it sounds alot like the whooshing she heard in the womb.

Good luck! Your family is in my prayers daily!; 2/11/2009 4:25 PM
Sandra said...: Some babies don't get enough from nursing. Have you talked to your pediatrician? I have a friend who had to supplement nursing with formula and that helped. Just a suggestion!; 2/11/2009 4:27 PM
Anna said...: Does she seem to have a lot of gas? Mylicon gas drops did wonders for both of my kiddos! We gave them Mylicon frequently. My two also loved to be swaddled tightly, but that doesn't sound like it's working for Miss Harper. ...I also had a tummy wrap thingy (sorry, don't know the exact name) that you warm in the microwave that I used with my daughter when she was fussy b/c she had colic. If I think of any other ideas...I'll pass them along!

BTW, cute pics!!! :); 2/11/2009 4:27 PM
Kelly said...: Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl! I actually did not start reading your blog until the post where you were taking Harper home. I had to go back and fill myself in with your story. I'm so happy to see she is doing great! My blog is actually titled Kelly's Korner too, and I had my daughter at Saint Francis in Tulsa. I'm so glad they provided such good care for Harper. My daugher, Riley, was fortunately born very healthy, but I received wonderful care there as well.
As a new mom (my daughter is 5 months), I can assure you that it will get easier. She sounds like she is being a typical newborn! You have to think too of the huge transition she has been through. All she had known was the hospital..the people, the smells, the routine, etc. Now she is in a new place, albiet a much better, happier one, and I think it will take some adjusting.
Her sleep will gradually get better. My little one is just now sleeping through the night. In the middle of the night, when I would be so tired, I would try to tell myself to not get frustrated, and to enjoy those moments, because they would be over so soon, and I know I will miss them. I wish you nothing but happiness with your new little one. Enjoy every single second. You, more than anyone, know what a precious gift you've been given. God bless you!; 2/11/2009 4:28 PM
Anonymous said...: As a lot of people have already posted, it will get easier..I remember with my first, I started to feel human again when he was 6 weeks old, during the first six weeks, I nursed, did not sleep and held him most of the day..once he was six weeks I was able to put him in a swing, bounce seat etc..then it got even easier at 3 months, 6 months etc..with the 2nd and 3rd..I did not have the option of holding them all the time, I had other children that needed me..my advice, hold her, nurse her..meet her needs, take as much help as you can get, get small breaks for yourself as much as possible and remember it will get easier...
She is just toooooooo cute!!

Kate in CA; 2/11/2009 4:28 PM
Christy said...: I know I'm just one comment in hundreds but my daughter was just the same. No toy or swing or chair worked and I felt like all I did was feed and if I wasn't feeding, I had to hold her. Keep trying your toys, she will eventually come around. I remember the first time Denay fell asleep in the swing, I cried!
Good for you sneaking in showers when you can.....things will only get better and easier!
Be Blessed.
Christy and Denay; 2/11/2009 4:29 PM
Beth Herring said...: Kelly - My 2nd daughter was just like that and I literally thought I would lose my mind. I had a 12 month old at home too! But things WILL get better. I promise! Just hang in there. Use that swing when you can and just rest in the knowledge that this too shall pass!

In Him,
Beth; 2/11/2009 4:30 PM
Karin said...: I gave in and just held my baby for the first 3 months of her life. Literally, I just sat in a chair and held her. I was not a pretty site and it was not what I had envisioned, but it kept my baby from screaming. So I just sat on my rear end and held her. I grew weary of all the advice people piled on me like I was spoiling her and I needed to be firm. I felt like my child needed to feel me or hear my heart beat. I knew she needed me. Trust me. It gets better. I have to chase my baby these days if I want a hug.; 2/11/2009 4:30 PM
Lindsey said...: First of all, she is absolutely beautiful!!!!!
As far as her crying all the time...totally normal. It's just something you've gotta work through. There's no miracle drug, blanket, trick, etc. That's just the way babies are. She hates being out of your nice warm womb and it'll take her a while to get used to the fresh air on her face. :)

My daughter was super high maintenance (who am I kidding? Still is!!) when she was really little, but it gets better every single month. Just hang in there and always remember the wonderful gift God gave you in that gorgeous baby of yours! Keep your head up, girlfriend!! :D; 2/11/2009 4:31 PM
Stephanie said...: I haven't commented in a while, because my own little one is keeping me busy too ;) I just want to encourage you that it WILL get better. My daughter when through the same stage for almost a week when she was 5 weeks old (or so). Nothing would calm her screaming fits except when my husband took her for a ride in the car...but then she'd be crying the moment the car stopped and screaming by the time we got her out of the carseat again. After two days of it, I was physically and emotionally drained...and had a major meltdown. I was so blessed that my mom was able to come the next day and let me sleep all morning while she held and played with my daughter. She would bring her in when she was hungry and I would feed her in bed. I remember how hard it was, but I also remember that after a week or so, she was fine again.

She also wouldn't sleep by herself the first week after we finally got home from the hospital/NICU, so we finally had her sleep in bed with us. Our first night home, she didn't sleep more than 20 minutes at a time...so we took turns walking her back and forth while the other one slept. It was exhausting...

I just want to encourage you to take it one day...or probably one minute ;)...at a time. If your mom or someone else close to you offers to come cook a meal or hold her so you can shower, embrace it! I was so happy when my husband came home, because he would hold her while I ate some dinner and sometimes took a shower. He was super helpful on Sunday mornings (well, he still is!) by holding her so I could get ready. Sundays were the only days I showered AND did my hair for a while ;) Just hang in there, Kelli - it WILL get better. Before you know it she'll be crawling!; 2/11/2009 4:32 PM
Anonymous said...: Kelly: First off, I want to say Congrats and God Bless the three of you! I have been so touched by your story. Harper is absolutely gorgeous!!! With regard to her fussiness/not sleeping. My friend has a balket called a Miracle Blanket and she said it has been a God send for her son (2 months old). I only wish I had one when my son was a baby...he suffered from colic until he was 5 month old. Anyway, I do not know what the website is for the blanket and it may even be carried in one of your local baby stores, but it actually is called the Miracle Blanket and it swaddles your baby. It makes them feel snuggy just like being in the womb and it helps to comfort and soothe them albeit making them look like a sweet little pea pod...LOL! Good Luck!; 2/11/2009 4:32 PM
The Walkie Talkie said...: Oh I think you ARE that kind of friend, Kelly. Love the pictures and really I have no advice (I would like to read the comments) except to take it one day at a time. One feeding at a time even. Whitlee (oldest daughter) was my most challenging infant/newborn. Now (almost three) she tells me ALL THE TIME (very spontaneously), "Mom, I love you." Making all those nights/days of pacing the floor and bouncing around like a crazy mama, being the 24/7 buffet worth it. One feeding at a time, my friend.

Love and prayers, Jenny Beth; 2/11/2009 4:32 PM
Anonymous said...: Hang in there, Kelly! She's precious and the sleepless days will pass.; 2/11/2009 4:34 PM
Mrs. Valente said...: She's right at the age where all of mine have had terrible tummy trouble....the drug store infant gas relief is great, but you don't want to beome too dependant on it. I love Hyland's Colic Tabs. They're homeopathic. I really think they saved my life!; 2/11/2009 4:35 PM
Anonymous said...: You don't know me but I discovered your blog through a friend's blog and have just been blown away by your story and by God's Grace in your life!! I am pregnant with my 3rd and am considering the name Harper for our baby if it is a girl because it is my mom's maiden name but what is crazy is that we are considering Dawson if it's a boy and that is your dog's name!!! I just thought it was so ironic you have both names in your family..............congratulations on your beautiful baby girl! A trick that worked with our baby girl Maggie around 3 weeks was Acidophiles in her bottle which helps settle her stomach and regulate her digestive system, worked for us.; 2/11/2009 4:37 PM
Amy said...: I have never posted a comment but follow your blog. I had two children like that and I can tell you they are both kind gentle loving kids now. But to help solve your problem now and I am not sure if anyone else has suggested this, but one thing was a baby sling. You wear it and it holds the baby not like a front carrier but in a shawl sort of way. I learned to do EVERYTHING with my Isabella in the sling...I mean everything. Do know that it does end it does stop, but I can feel your pain girl...BTW I live in Los Angeles but spent a good part of my life in Conway Arkansas and miss it terribly.

Many good wishes
Amy
www.allthingsaro.blogspot.com; 2/11/2009 4:39 PM
Betsy said...: Don't worry...we know exactly how you feel, Kelly. You are so in love with that beautiful baby and thankful for everything God has given you. But it is just plain TIRING!!!! Mark had colic and it was miserable for about 12 weeks! But it will get better. Get as much rest as possible and sleep every time she sleeps!! I've heard that Miracle blanket is really good??? Bless your heart. I wish I could help you!; 2/11/2009 4:40 PM
Brittney said...: Try Dr. Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block book or DVD. Works miracles!; 2/11/2009 4:41 PM
Anonymous said...: Kelly,

I've never posted on someone's blog that I've never met before, but my baby was a screamer...So I feel for you! (I went to OBU and live in Rogers now, but I don't think we've ever met.)

Anyway--Get the book, "The Happiest Baby on the Block." It saved my life. Some of the stuff in there sounds insane, but it works. You just have to buy into it.

Also--No one really tells you this when you get pregnant, but little babies just scream a lot for no reason sometimes. It's ok to put her down for a few minutes in her crib and walk away and collect yourself. She'll be just fine! My little boy is a very happy little guy now!

Good luck!
Laura (Blakely) Harrison; 2/11/2009 4:42 PM
Anonymous said...: Hey....I have been reading your blog since Harper was born and am so happy for you and your family. God is good! You asked for advice on fussy/screaming babies. Harper sounds so much like our first born, Mary Anne. She 'seemed' like she wanted to eat all the time, only to scream for sometimes hours after. We would then feed her again and the cycle would continue. We thought colic, gas, etc. But, our ped. did an upper GI on her and it turned out to be silent reflux (the food would come up and then go back down). They don't have to vomit to have reflux. It's actually really common among babies. She rarely slept and cried a lot of the time she was awake. I got to the point I was crying with her! But after the upper GI, she was put on medication to cut down on the acid and a motility drug (helped her stomach empty faster). We had a new child after that. We weaned off her meds. at nine months. Just something to consider!

Susan in SC; 2/11/2009 4:43 PM
Lori said...: Oh how I hope she is just having difficult adjusting to HOME but maybe she has colic. Yuck! I pray that's not the case.; 2/11/2009 4:44 PM
Heidi said...: My first comment but I have been a blog stalker :-)I am so glad she is well. Having them home is a huge adjustment though for sure.

I had the same problem with my little girl. Nothing at all would comfort her. (bouncy,swing,sling, not a thing) I felt so guilty for complaining because we went through so much to get her. infertility, several miscarriages and then heperin shots in my belly the entire pregnancy to save her. Then, she was so high maintence and I never slept, pumped and fed all the time and she and I just cried and cried... I got very frustrated and then felt guilty for it.
It got sooooo much better though by the time she was about 8 weeks old. She has just turned four years old and is my prefect little princess and a dream.

Good luck. I have no advice, just grin and bear I guess....:-)

Harper is a miracle!!!!!! we love you.; 2/11/2009 4:44 PM
Elaine said...: Does anything you have vibrate? It sure works for my 8 week old. Aren't daughters amazing. Best of luck and I hope you get some sleep. Just wait until you are breastfeeding and you catch her grinning up at you while she is chowing down.; 2/11/2009 4:46 PM
Mandy said...: I am not sure if anyone said this yet...I don't have time to read the bazillion :) comments here....

You are still nursing...have you considered what you are eating? My first son was NOT HAPPY at all because of my diet. It took me so long to figure that out. He was 9 lbs 4 oz and ate all.the.time. Big babies are hungry babies! I felt like a cow!! :) Once I stopped eating certain foods and took on a more bland diet, we cruised. Until I got pregnant again when my oldest was 6 months. Yeah...watch out around that time frame. :); 2/11/2009 4:47 PM
Megan L Hutchings said...: Hang in there beautiful ;)! Was there anything that helped soothe her while she was in the NICU? Perhaps having something similiar surround her would help a little. Also, a friend of mine had a little girl who cried a lot and they later found out she had acid reflux?! I wish I could be there to help you but I know you are doing a fab job.

p.s. Harper looks adorable in her outfits :)!; 2/11/2009 4:47 PM
leiGh said...: Hey Kelly! First let me say that I LOVE THE NAME HARPER!!! PRECIOUS! I'm so glad that everything is alright and you guys are home.

my suggestion for you is to read the book On Becoming Baby Wise. IT WORKS! Check it out if you get a chance.
leiGh; 2/11/2009 4:49 PM
Amber Filkins said...: Those are rough times, I knew them well! All I have to say is....you'll get really good at doing everything with one hand!! I have a 20 month old and it still comes in handy when she wants to be on my hip part of the day. :)

And that is one wonderful friend!!; 2/11/2009 4:49 PM
Cari said...: My kid's 3 week spurt lasted 4 to 5 days. I might be gas or something new you have eaten if she does not start sleepting more after that. Ask your pedi how much mylicon you can give. I was able to give more than the bottle dose after each feeding. I was even able to give her mylanta before some feedings because her tummy was just so sensitive.; 2/11/2009 4:49 PM
Teri said...: Yes, I can totally relate. I often referred to my daughter,(who weighed in at 9 pds. 9 1/2 oz.) as our "spirited child". That "spirited child" is now 18 yrs. old and away at college. She was my second. I often told myself that if she had been my first, she would have been our one and only. Wow! Was she a lot of work, no sleep and required tons of patience. I can tell you, she was the most delightful child-truly a joy! She has been the most delightful young lady! However, I felt like I was nursing 24/7 and that never ceased. Since day 1, she was a snacker. Hasn't changed...(you will learn to always carry something in your purse for her to eat forever more!). Oh, I felt like my chest would burst! She is the first girl I hear when entering any room-she is engaging, energetic and loudly full of laughter. (This is the reward for her screaming as an infant.. there was no eating out for us!) She is kind but assertive when necessary. She is a go-getter, so full of life and energy. She approaches everything with full zest. There is never any doubt about what she wants or how she is feeling. She never slept. She would never sleep but in her own bed. I wondered if she would ever, ever sleep thru the night. Her brother slept thru the night in a month. I am thinking...mmmm...possibly at three. I tried it all. It will pass...(now, I cannot seem to get her to wake up before noon.) BUT, those early days were exhausting. I think at one point I just gave up and slept in her room...I knew it would be a short, little nap and then up, up we would all be. I guess what I am offering to you is, try to roll with her personality. You will see that those things that are the hardest traits to live with in the beginning are actually the sweetest rewards for your family later on. It is only thru hindsight...nothing else. I know there were those days that I felt that I wasn't meeting her needs or felt overwhelmed when it seemed that every other mother seemed to be handling it better than I. I remember her brother (he is 3 1/2 yrs. older) at one point asking me if we could take her back. Their bond now is special and remarkable. So..go with the flow, enjoy the highs and pray for God's help during the lows. Parenting is funny that way!; 2/11/2009 4:49 PM
Lori said...: One more piece of advice, as soon as it is safe for her to be around other people, take them up on their offer to sit for you. Take a long bath, grocery shop, read a book just get yourself a break. I know that's probably almost impossible for now but maybe your parents will sit so you and Scott can go to Sonic. Just a quick trip away just the 2 of you.; 2/11/2009 4:50 PM
Anonymous said...: Hi! I am a lurker here - I found your blog through my niece's facebook. She was asking for prayers.

Here is my two cents....

DO NOT STOP BREASTFEEDING. People are going to tell you she isn't getting enough and encourage you to supplement - but you supply will not increase that way. If she wants to nurse constantly - do it! The more your nurse her, the more milk you will produce and eventually, the two of you will be in sync. (You will be producing exactly the amount she wants/needs.) Breastfeeding also releases hormones that relax you and baby Harper. My two breastfed babies were easy to calm down once we got into a routine with each other - my one formula fed baby was impossible to console. The only downside is that she will want mom more than anyone else - but after all that you've been through - you probably want to do everything for her yourself. Less people = Less germs. The only other advice I can think of is to remember not to let people get fooled into thinking she is a three-month old - she is a big girl, but she is still an infant. My third child was a big baby and I had to keep reminding everyone that he was still a newborn when they would hold him/handle him.; 2/11/2009 4:50 PM
Anonymous said...: I would check with her doctor, she should not be that hungry all the time. I wonder if she is getting enough milk when nursing? She is a cutie. Just like her mom and dad. It is tough but you will adapt..it just takes awhile.

love..; 2/11/2009 4:50 PM
Christina said...: Kelly, I already posted a response, but I wanted to encourage you in another way.

You've been through more than most of us moms here. That being said, you don't have to be any stronger than any of the rest of us. Yes, you were blessed with a miracle, but the crying and the constant feedings, the sleepless nights and the stress are still just as real, plus you've been through more stress just to get to this point.

If you take nothing else away from this, hear someone who has "been there, done that" and DO NOT LET YOURSELF FEEL GUILTY for feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted, impatient and totally lost. It's normal and no one is going to think badly about you for feeling all those things.

Each and every mom has been through those frustrations (some more than others) and you don't have to be super-mom. Do your best to relax and always remember that it will get better. It may take awhile, but it will get better.

You are a great mommy and Harper knows that...already. Just get through this tough part and remember that you are never alone.

Christina in Indiana; 2/11/2009 4:51 PM
Alicia said...: Kelly, I've never commented before, but I have been reading your blog for ht last month or so (since a couple weeks before Harper was born). First of all, congratulations, and praise the Lord for all He's brought you and your family through.
Second, I, too, had a daughter who went through uncontrolable crying spells. We got a noise machine, and it really worked. We turned it on the waterfall setting and turned it up really loud. Swaddling was also a huge hit for her. One more - baby massage. I'd rub her teeny tiny feet, and it would lull her to sleep. But as long as it feels like you're going through this, one day it will just stop and be a distant memory. Hard to believe right now, huh?
I'll be praying for some sleep for you!; 2/11/2009 4:52 PM
Anonymous said...: Kelly,

I have been following your blog, yeah for Harper!!! She is a little cutie. My son did not sleep much due to colic and being a high maintenance baby (he must get it from daddy), he hated everything except Baby Bjorn (he liked being able to see out which they don't get from the sling and he liked human motion). Another thing that calmed his colic (don't be shocked) was the vacuum cleaner (he is one now and loves to watch people vacuum). I would turn it on for 5 mintues and he would sleep (like a baby). She might be used to more noise from being in a hospital (the hum of people and machines), maybe some white noise like a fan might help.; 2/11/2009 4:53 PM
ktarbell43 said...: Two recommendations. Baby Einstein and the Graco sweet peace swing. Unlike tradition swings this swing moves side to side check out this link http://www.goores.com/goores/product.asp?prod_name=GRACO+SWING+SWEET+PEACE+NEWBORN+SOOTHING+CENTER&pf_id=PAOHIDAOGJNFPAFE&dept_id=3018&s_id=0&

We bought it and kept the box in case he didn't like it. It was well worth the money we spent let me tell you. My son hated the bouncer, car seat, and swing as well. The baby Einstein videos three words: gift from God. In the beginning I would have never shower if it was for those videos. I bought 8 of them on ebay for like $30 which was a sweet deal. Good luck Kelly; she's adorable.; 2/11/2009 4:53 PM
Michelle said...: When our first baby was born, she was not sleeping well and very fussy too....I remember our pediatrician recommended we get a sheepskin for her to sleep with in her crib. It worked!!! She slept beautifully with her sheepskin...they make them for babies cribs...and they're machine washable and dryable. And they're great to take on trips to comfort baby! That was 26 years ago...and our daughter still has her "sheepie", as we called it!!!
God bless you all! Love, Michelle; 2/11/2009 4:54 PM
Anonymous said...: Kelly, I feel your pain. My son was like that too. I finally broke down and put him on Gentlease formula. It worked. Also for the first week at home, he slept between us on one of those little baby pads that have the rolls on the sides(to keep them from going anywhere.) It's like he needed to get used to the house and us! It gets better! I promise.; 2/11/2009 4:54 PM
Linda said...: Kelly, I think Harper may be the cutest little girl I have ever seen. That big flower on her head is the most darling! With our first born we once took him for a drive to get him to sleep. Once we put him in his car seat and ran the dryer (while we held the car seat in place of course). The vibrating bouncy seat was our most valuable item when my second came around. The best advice I have is to keep to a feeding schedule. Read the book On Becoming Babywise. It was my baby bible! I promise you, you won't be dissappointed. Email me if you want and I will drop off a copy at your front door - I can ring the bell and take off!; 2/11/2009 4:55 PM
Corrie said...: Kelly - I feel your pain. I have an 8 week old daughter and starting at 3 weeks there was no pleasing her, especially at night. I bought a Homedics sound machine (you can get it online or at Target). The waterfall sound knocks her right out. Before I got that, I would stand next to the sink with the water running - that worked too. I'm sure you've been told this but it is a phase - my daughters only lasted a couple of weeks. I've got a happy baby
now. Good luck! Go Hogs!; 2/11/2009 4:56 PM
Anonymous said...: Isn't she sweet? I would say the first six weeks are the hardest. This is going to sound crazy, but with my last son, the only way to calm him was to put him either in his car seat or bouncy seat on the kitchen counter over the dishwasher. The sound and slight vibration would put him to sleep every time. Good luck!; 2/11/2009 4:56 PM
The Nelson Family said...: So, it looks like you've gotten enough advice to hold you over for the next 3 months :), So, I am going to say - LOVE the onsie! She looks beautiful in the pink & green. They are most definitely her colors! In 2004, I heard Beth Moore say that "if pink is an option, it must be the will of God." And Beth Moore is never wrong. Harper could be my little sis someday! :); 2/11/2009 4:57 PM
Anonymous said...: Kelly...EVERYONE has advice...me too. I had a BIG baby 10lbs, always hungry, felt like he was on my chest ALL day. I had to supplement his nursing with 1-2 oz of formula to fill him up. HE WAS HUNGRY...thus the constant nursing and crying. A few extra ounces made ALL the difference in our lives! Big babies are hungry!!!! And you have a BIG one...precious and BIG. Blessings from another mom named Kelly!; 2/11/2009 4:59 PM
Mary said...: My son cried a lot too and turned out he was sensitive to dairy (the milk protein - babies can't be lactose intolerant). I just figured I got a colicky baby but blood in his stool revealed the truth. I eliminated dairy from my diet 100% since I nursed and he was a new kid. Will pray you find a source of comfort for her.; 2/11/2009 5:00 PM
Anonymous said...: Kelly,
Try tummy to tummy, skin to skin- lie down and lay her on your tummy and sing a quiet hymn...just a quiet girl time. It will help you be calm and she will sense it through you.; 2/11/2009 5:00 PM
Us said...: Sorry I don't know you, I just stumbled on your blog from someone else's...anyway! My precious girl was 9 lbs 7 oz, 21 in and SCREAMED the first 3 mths. She either ate like a pig (and then threw it up) or screamed. I had strangers telling me she was hungry ALL the time. I didn't sleep much...nothing helped. Shelearned to suck on her shirt finally and still does it to go to sleep (she's 4 1/2)! That was my experience! Beautiful baby and I pray she stops screaming so much
:-); 2/11/2009 5:02 PM
sarahross said...: Just hold her and enjoy this time...it won't last long. I bought a sling for my little fussy insomniac (he's five now) and he LOVED it and slept so good in it.; 2/11/2009 5:03 PM
Katie said...: Oh, just keep hanging in there, Kelly! Some of those days in the first months can be pretty hard as you and Harper work to get in your groove! Y'all will! And you will look back on these days and want them back! (I know that sounds crazy now, but trust me!) I'm sure y'all are doing an incredible job as her parents! And I always have to say how cute she looks...'cause she IS!! ;o) I'm so thankful along with you that she is a healthy girl!! Praise God! So funny you should mention Jehovah Jirah...that's something we talked about at church this past Sunday. Keep up the good work as you care for your Babycakes...we can't tell that you haven't brushed your hair in three days... ;o); 2/11/2009 5:03 PM
hgodwin said...: Just wanted to give you some encouragement, this phase won't last forever! I too had hungry babies. I felt like all I did was nurse, but just enjoy it while you can because once its over you will miss it!!! My best advice is just GO WITH IT! I know it is hard because that leaves little time for yourself, but you will do better letting Harper go on her own schedule than trying to make her one yourself!! GOOD LUCK!; 2/11/2009 5:04 PM
JJC said...: kelly,
found your blog not too long ago, and i love it! my husband and i lived in fayetteville for a year while he "tried" law school at the u of a. it was short lived, and we're back in the fort worth area--and he's back in law school. :)

i have a sweet little emory who was quite the screamer. at one point, i called a friend and asked if there was any point during the day that she should be awake and NOT screaming. emory HATED, HATED being cradled like a baby and preferred being upright. we later learned that she had reflux. she also liked the sound of running water--like the kitchen sink or the washing machine. ...and when they're little-tiny, i think they just like to be held.

praying for you!

jill; 2/11/2009 5:05 PM
Michelle said...: Oh yes! My first born was like that. She was either eating, crying, or grumping. She had to be up, and not just being held but moving. Walking, bouncing, jiggling, something. And hardly slept and when she did it was on me. I didn't know babies could be like that! Good news is they grow out of it! Well, she at four still needs to be around people and active but it's so much easier when their older.

My best advice for you is to always take help when offered. And when you do manage to steal a few moments for yourself, nap, or shower, or something else recharging. Don't spend your few minutes cleaning. That will always be there.

Oh and I was so so thankful that because she was my first born I COULD spend hours walking, rocking, bouncing, ect ect ect. I couldn't have done that with my second born and thank the Lord she was a laid back baby :); 2/11/2009 5:05 PM
Anonymous said...: Hey Kelly- when mine got fussy like that and were inconsolable I took them out on a walk in the stroller- (mine were also born in August and September - so the weather may not allow it, but if the wind isn't blowing like it is in TN and it's warm you might try it.) Just put her in the stroller, put a blanket over it to keep out the breeze and go- sometimes they just need a change of scenery.

You just don't know how happy I am that she's doing well- and she is one pretty little thing! Happy Wednesday. I'll pray specifically for sweet sleep tonight.; 2/11/2009 5:06 PM
Mom Can I? said...: Hold her, hold her, hold her. and when ya need to do something, like shower, put her down and don't feel bad about it. That time goes by so fast.

I have 3 (boy 12ys, boy 10yrs and girlie girl 8yrs) and found out before Christmas that we were having number 4!!!! (Found out yesterday that is is another boy due in July). What a BIG SHOCK, but what a blessing this little boy already has become!!! (and girlie girl is quite happy remaining the only princess in this house!!)

Harper will be be telling you to put her down before you know it. Just hang in there and cherish every crying moment!!!!; 2/11/2009 5:07 PM

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