Happy Early Mother's Day

Next Sunday is Mother's Day. It is a very special day to honor the women who have spent their lives (or who are just beginning to) care for their children. I always loved when I was in a small church growing up and they would have the contests.......Mother of the most children, youngest mother, oldest mother. (Although in a small town - the same women would pretty much win every year. ha!) A day when a lot of moms are woken up with breakfast in bed and cards and wear corsages to church and the pastor speaks directly to moms and their families take them out for a nice lunch and most churches have baby dedication. It's a wonderful day!
But for so many woman - Mother's day is an extremely painful day. A day where you can either skip church and stay home and try to do something just for you or you can go to church and grimace out a smile and squeeze your husband's hand tight so that the tears don't flow. It's a day that you always hope "NEXT mother's day - I"ll be a mother" but if your aren't you dread it with everything in you. It's a reminder of the one thing you want more than life and the one thing you can't make happen.
I had already thought for months that if I wasn't pregnant by Mother's day - then I would stay home and just have a day to myself. We had booked our trip before I realized that I will be on a beach on Mother's day. I'm so thankful for that.
I'm so happy for all of you out there and for all of my friends who are mothers. Your children are a precious gift that I know none of you take lightly. I love to read about all the fun things you do with your children and all the cute pictures you take of them. You all inspire me so much!!!! I hope that each of you who have children will take a minute on mother's day and pray for all the women like me who long for children so badly. Please pray that God will open their wombs and bless them.
I've had two different people send me this poem below and it touched me very deeply. I want to post this for all of you out there who are dreading next Sunday. ( I DO NOT want to offend any of you who had children easily - you are blessed. I know you love your children with everything in you. And I'm grateful for that). But I do know how it feels to wake up in the middle of the night and my first thought is to plead with God to give me a child. And when I wake up in the morning and when I drive to work and before I go to bed - I am constantly bowing my head and asking God to please let us be parents. I also know that hopefully one day He will answer our prayers. And when I'm rocking a baby in th middle of the night - I'll thank God for that child. And when the baby screams it's head off in Wal-Mart - I'll thank God for that child. And when they throw up all over themselves and their bed, and when they draw on my couch or the walls, and when they slam the door as an angry teenager.........I will thank God for blessing me with a child.

Happy Mother's Day early to each of you. I'm praying for all of you mothers out there - you have the HARDEST job (whether you stay at home or work - you never get vacation or raises or promotions but I hope your reward will be great). For all of you who long to be mothers - I pray for a lot of you by name every day and I also ask God to give children to even the girls I don't know your names.

Love, Kelly


There are women who become mothers without effort,
without thought,
without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep,
explore,
and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

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